I've never had a boyfriend and I'm 17!

I've never had a boyfriend and I'm 17! Part 8.

VOTE AND COMMENT!! PLEASSSEEE

Sydney's POV

I was worthless. I was like a dead person walking around. I even looked like a dead person. I didn't do anything anymore. I was barely making it through school and everywhere I went it reminded me of Josh. I could barely sit through any of my classes without crying. The teachers were so used to it they didn't even object to me leaving in the middle of class anymore. Most of them understood. They had once taught my brother and knew how much we both meant to each other. They said he talked very highly of me, but I could really careless. My life was worthless without my other half. I needed him like I needed to breathe and now that he's not here I have no reason to live. It was even worse at home. My parents came home when they heard and my mom was screaming  all the time to no one in particular, even when no one was around. She  wouldn't even look me in the eyes anymore. She said she couldn't. She  said I reminded her too much of Josh. What did she expect? Nine times  out of ten your children are going to favor whether a little or a lot.  Apparently we favored a lot. One day I was standing in the kitchen and  my mom walked in. I went up to her and grabbed her hand. She turned  around and looked at me for a split second before she started crying.

"Why do you do this to me Sydney? You know I can't take it.  You look so much like him it hurts." I was astonished.

"You know what mom? How do you think I feel? I have to walk  around with this face. I have to look at it in the mirror everyday of  my miserable life! You have no idea the pain I'm going through because  you are so twisted up in yourself that you forgot you had a daughter.  MOM!!! He was MY brother!! He fuc**** raised me when you and dad were  off doing what YA'LL wanted to do! You didn't care about us! I  fuc***** held him as he died!! He told me right before he died that  you and dad would be proud of the woman that I have grown to be, but  you won't even fuc**** look at me to see it. Dad never even comes home  anymore. I'm ALONE in this forsaken world and I have no one anymore to  talk to. I'm trying my best to keep my promise to Josh. He told me to  just keep going on with life and not hate the world. He told me to not  quit and live as if he was still here. But you know what mom? I can't  do that when my whole world is crashing around me. My own FUC*ING MOM  WONT EVEN LOOK AT ME!! Because it hurts HER!! It's not all about YOU!  You weren't even here when we were growing up. Josh was like a dad and  a brother, and he was da*n good at it. I HATE living in this house!  And you know what makes it even worse? They want me to speak at his  da*m funeral! That is going to be the straw that breaks my back! I'm  sick and tired of walking around this house and the world  alone......." I was interrupted by someone walking through the doorway.

"Syd, you don't have to. I'll be here for you. You can lean  on me when you have nothing else. I'll stand up there with you when  you give your speech. I'm sorry I haven't been here. I had to go take  my frustrations out somewhere else. I didn't want you to have to see  that too. I know that you have been through enough already, and you  are blessed to look just like your brother because looking at you  means that Josh is not dead. He is here with us all the time.  Especially with his sister whom he loved more than life itself. There  are not enough numbers to count the times to tell you how many times  Josh told me he was glad you were his sister and that he loved you. He  was so proud of you. He was already talking about spoiling your kids  when you had them." I was crying so hard I could barely hear him  finish what he was saying. I ran over to him and was engulfed in a  hug. I had missed his hugs so much since he left. I had just missed  him. I hadn't seen him in three weeks and I was breaking over it. Jake  was just like my second brother and I loved him so much. I could hear  him talking to my mom.

"Listen Mrs. Clarke. I know that you lost your son and it  hurts me to even think of it. He was like a brother to me, but you  need to stop being conceited and open your eyes to what is in front of  you. You have a beautiful daughter that needs you. She is the one that  needs you. You have a child left and had Josh not protected her like  he did you wouldn't even have that. Now I know I haven't been here  since he died, but I was here through thick and thin. Josh was my  right hand and I was his. We were like blood brothers and he wouldn't  like the way you are treating your Syd right now. Besides, it is some  of your fault that he's dead. If you weren't in the field of work you  are in than you wouldn't have people coming after your kids. I was the  one that had to tell Josh that someone was coming after his sister. He  was so mad that I had to take him to a deserted place so he wouldn't  hurt a innocent bystander. He told me he said ''if anyone ever tries  to touch her I will kill them. I would do anything for that girl and  no one is going to take her away from me. There is a reason I was  born, and that was to protect her from everything that came her way,  but if anything bad happens to me, then I leave you in charge Jacob.  You take care of her. You protect her from herself, and anything else  that might hurt her." Mrs. Clarke you have no idea how your son was.  If YOU would have EVER raised your hand at Sydney he would have even  hurt YOU." I was shivering listening to what Jake was saying. No one  had ever talked to my mom like that. Josh had never even talked to her  like that, even when she was home from work. I tugged on Jake's shirt  trying to pull him up the stairs. When I got on the first step my mom  spoke up.