Letters and Words

January 11th

Dear Diary,

I was in Tyler's room, he was holding me to his chest.

I felt numb, him holding me would usually send chills over my skin but it wasn't.

My fingernail traced my wrist in several different patterns.

I was itching to do something.

'Do you think you could, I don't know to try and see her?'

'No' my voice was scratchy and sounded unreal.

I hadn't eaten since I got to Tyler's house.

I didn't plan to.

I was hungry though but not for food. For anything.

Everything in me knew she wasn't going to wake up.

It sent me into a fit.

I grabbed Tyler's shirt and sobbed broken sobs.

He cried with me. I felt him shaking.

I held him like he was my lifeline, I wish he would hold me as my mother did.

Raised slightly, her legs spread. I'd lay in between them and rest my head on her chest. She'd play with my hair and whisper how much she loved me.

I wanted to hear her voice.

I was her soldier. Her sweet angel.

My phone started ringing again.

Tyler answered it.

'Hello?'

A faint voice cracked through the speaker.

"She's safe, My name is Tyler.'

The voice started to speak faster.

'I promise, yes. She knows she's here. No, she hasn't started back to school.'

The voice paused.

I closed my eyes and thought of her. Her soft hands and nervous eyes.

Her quiet voice and her perfume.

Vanilla and cinnamon.

Tyler's voice faded, I fell asleep.

Everything was falling apart.

Goodnight,
                   -River A.