Lifes Fate

15

Once again. I'm sat here in the middle of a debate. Not a discussion. Its all. My way or no way. But this time, I'm listening. They all have good points. They all have bad points. But there's always someone who doesn't agree.
"Enough!" I stand up and walk away from the table. The room going silent "this! Is exactly what I didn't want!" They all watch me pace "right... Justin was right. The Lycons should go in first to distract the Orcs"
"Thank you!"
"But we should follow straight after, not wait! Like Harjo said!" I think about everything else "the elves would be better on the walls. If they try get out you'll be best to keep everything in... the army... they'll have to storm in. You have enough men to circle around the castle so if anything, does, get out... don't let them get away"
"You all need to work out between your own kind how you plan to do this and once its sorted... well sit down again"
Toby leans back just smiling at me and everyone else just looks shocked at me
"I dont think I've ever been more turned on by you, my queen" Harjo winks. Matiloni glares at him and Justin just shakes his head. He's definitely adapting to him "and dipshits gotten hard to! So dont fucking give me that look"
"This is innappropriate" Matiloni stands and ushers me out the room. Harjo literally growling and Justin just glares.
Matiloni looks back to make sure we're put of hearing and smiles down to me "I'm sorry you had to hear all that"
"No, don't be. I'm completely immune to it"
He sighs and brushes my hair back "you've become an incredible women Patrisha"
"You haven't changed" he hasn't changed. He's calm, collective. Safe. Once I could imagine everything with him. We wouldn't marry. That's not how the elven people work. They mate. And when mated that's their commitment. But everything else. I could see... but now I'm older. Ive had the time away from him. And he hasnt changed. My whole lifetime is like a year in his lifespam. He'd long out live me. See so much more of the world than Ill ever get to know. And thats why the elven people are so calm. They have no need to rush or be angry. They just go about things. I'm envious of their lives. Not the duration. But the relaxation. Even in a battle they keep their calm. If they die, most have seen more than a lifetime and their happy with what they've lived with.
"So, Tobys told me of such... changes. Youve been through"
"Changes?"
"Yes, he tells me youve... youve distanced yourself"
"Not intentionally" does Toby really think that? That's not true. I don't want him to think that "things have been confusing. Obviously. I have had... different views on Harjo. And... Justin, well... he's everything I didn't think he'd be. Ive been confused and angry and scared... but at the same time... I dont think I've ever been more connected with myself. I've never realised who I am. Turns out. I really enjoy kissing and I am incredibly brave in my self! And as much as it terrifies me... I think i'll be a good queen"
"You'll be a fantastic queen... I'm not quite sure what to say about the kissing" oh god! "I understand. I've been gone some time for you. You are taken?"
I laugh "no... no I'm not taken. If I knew what my feelings where. It would be a lot easier to sort that out"
He smiles "Am I involved in this confusion?"
He's the cause of most of it. I put my hands on his chest and he holds them "yes"
"Then let me see if I can help you" his hand goes to the side of my cheek. His touch, literally as soft as a feather as he strokes down my skin and leans down into me. His lips dry and cool as they softly pucker to mine. So sweet and caring. Its a completely different kiss than I've experience. But just as enjoyable. He makes my lips tingle. His fingers sending shivers down my spine with how soft they are. It makes me want to melt. But I don't. He leans back and rests his forehead on mine "did I help?"
"Not remotely" he chuckles and strokes my hair back
"Youll work it out Patrisha... you always did" his lips are on my fore head and then bows and walks the other way.
I have no idea what just happened.
Matiloni just kissed me... in the years I knew him. He didn't even try to show that kind of affection. But it didn't matter. He wanted me to be sure that, that was the life I wanted. Being with a man who'd never age in my eyes and becoming old when my family stayed young. And it didn't bother me at all back then. Now... it doesn't bother me, but something about it just makes me feel nervous and worried.
"Trish?" I look back to Toby and hes beaming "I am, so, proud of you! Do you know what you've just done?"
"I kissed Matiloni" he freezes in his strides and seems shocked "well... he kissed me"
"Oh... I was... I was talking about the meeting, but... yeah I guess that's pretty big. Are you alright?"
I dont know "yes... what was you saying?"
"Oh uh... it doesn't matter, do you want to talk. It must be strange for you"
"Actually, I'd rather not talk"
"Ok... well, the dog and Drakino are talking. Formally and appropriately! Its unbelievable! They are talking tactics and giving advice to eachother. Its never been done! Justins listening in! Their all in the same room with no blood spilt!"
There never would have been. I wouldnt have let their been.