Notorious Hope

11. Life or Death

Monday

''Riley, can you at least look at me? I just want to talk to you again''

Slamming her locker shut, piling her books into her arms and stomping away. She, however, didn't take into account that Lucas is very strong-willed. Incapable of letting go of this situation, hot on her heels.

''What Lucas? What is so important that you need to talk to me right now? Because unless somebody is going to die in the next half an hour, I would like to get to class on time.''

Rolling her eyes as she twists on her heels, strutting away. Her brothers are already present as she enters the classroom. She joins Elliot, Stiles and Jughead secluded into the corner desks at the back of the classroom. 

''Well somebody's pissed this morning, what is it, you on your period or something?''

Growling at her elder brother, despite there being only 11 months between her and Stiles, Riley tends to treat him as if he's her annoying younger brother. As Auggie is very wise at the young age of 13, he doesn't piss her off as much.

''Well somebody's intrusive this morning. What are you the male reincarnation of our mother?''

Glaring at his sister, if looks could kill, Riley would've killed Stiles a long time ago. 

''I'm not for your information asshole, now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to take a walk''

Storming out of the classroom and making her way up onto the roof of the school. This is where she goes to whenever she needs to get some clarity. 

She'd be lying if she said she hadn't thought about jumping off the roof. It would relieve lots of people of their current issues and make life a lot easier for everybody.

''Just jump Riley, don't be an ass about, just do it''

Her subconscious's tells her to jump but she quickly remembers everything that would be left behind if she went through with this.

 After her mother's disappearance, she shut herself off from the world she isolated herself in her room for weeks, going days without food unless forced to. This resulted in being admitted to a psychiatric facility for the next 6 months, diagnosed with bulimia and anorexia.  

A daily struggle as she still views herself as not pretty enough, not smart enough and not good enough. The girl she so desperately tries to hide from everybody, including the ones she loves the most. 

''Riley, you don't have to do this''

Squinting her eyes, clenching her hands, fingernails digging into her fists, the wind wisps past her skin tattooed with goosebumps. 

His voice should be soothing, his voice should be able to make her stop but somehow her subconscious won't let him in even though her heart does.

''Lucas, you don't get it, nobody understands and it's just so fucking frustrating that I want to scream and yell and tear everything apart because nobody will listen. And everything is just crumbling in front of me and the worst part is that I can't even maintain a relationship with you. My mother left without saying goodbye because I was too much to handle. My father pressures me to be the next Serpent Queen, my brothers are over-protective because they don't want to lose me like they lost Mom and I just don't want to dis-''

Cutting her off as his lips plant onto hers. He holds her face in her hands as she leans into his touch almost instantly. Pulling her away from the edge in the process and into his arms.

''Riley I don't care whether you hate me or not but I just want you to know that you are worth so much more than what you think you are. You are beautiful just the way you are, you aren't afraid to stand up for what you believe in. I care about you so much that it drives me to do crazy things sometimes. I love you, Riley. I can't risk losing you, I can't risk losing another person that I love.''