Notorious Hope

33. Starting with Hello

Jones Porch- 1: 03pm

''Are you fucking serious?!''

Having half-siblings is one thing, but sharing two brothers and a sister with your boyfriend is another thing. Her room is plastered with family portraits. Ironically her mother is the main star of the photographs.

Letters stashed away in moving boxes now scattered across her carpet. Slashing her photo frames out the window. Smashing the glass within the mirror that hangs upon the wall. Memories from the past 17 years now traced across her floor. Every trace of her mother abolished from her bedroom.

How could she do this?!

One moment she's all grins and giggles. The next she's having an affair and starting a new family. Her chocolate orbs linger eerily towards her bathroom. Unveiling her draws, stashed with razor blades. A single thought adjourns each cut.

Peace

Love 

Acceptance

Joy

Family

Inclusivity

Faint footsteps hinder her thought process and rhythm. This, however, helps doesn't falter her from achieving her goal.

''Leave me alone.''

Another single cut is produced before the footsteps increase rapidly. Whipping away the razor blade from her grip.

''Riley...sweetheart...''

Dropping the blade into her rubbish bin. Her body becomes enclosed in her boyfriends' arms. Inhaling his signature cologne, cinnamon and pine. Home. Her cries muffled into his sweater. Squeezing her eyes shut, suffocating her emotions. 

''Come here...''

Creasing her eyebrows, the brunette flashes back to reality. 

''Wha-, what happened? How did I get here?''

Kissing his girlfriend's head as he leads her towards her kitchen. Raising her onto the island while scouts the kitchen for the first aid kit.

''Why would you do this to yourself? I was always here for you to talk to.''

Gripping at the brunette's fingertips. kissing her bruised knuckles.

''I don't know what happened. The last thing I remember was my mother walking into the room at the doctor's office and then after she started talking I blacked out. Then it was like I was brought back to consciousness when you starting hugging me.''

Pouring alcohol onto a rag and pressing it onto her gashes.

''As this ever happened before?''

Nodding her head in affirmation. Her lips trembling as the pain springs through her veins.

''Yeah. Sometimes when things get too stressful or too overwhelming, I go into an out of body experience where I act sporadically. It can be as little as sneaking out at night. Or as big as having a manic episode and attacking somebody.''

Kissing the brunette's face all over as he combats her tears.

''So, when we were at the doctor's office today, you left because you didn't want to have a manic episode in front of everybody. Riley everybody would've understood. Next time you feel like you're having an episode or a panic attack, you call me, okay? I'm always just a phone call away.''

Negative connotations compile inside her mind. 

''I think tomorrow, I'll go back to the psychiatrist. I'm gonna go alone this time. I just think that my family being there made things more difficult. But first, I'd like to meet these half-siblings of mine. To know their side of the story ''

Those dreaded voices grab her attention, it's now or never

''Riley! we need to talk to you!''