Fate II ADOPTED BY SHANE DAWSON!!

His heartbeat

The darkness swallows me and surrounds me with its harshness. The floor beneath me is gone and I'm floating in the blackness. There is stars surrounding me, twinkling thier beautiful light. I stare all around me in awe, reaching out to touch one gently.

"we know who you really are Chris Pearson."

I take my hand away quickly, reaching out to another in hopes for a better star.

"I swear to god I'm going to kill you!" My dad's voice fills my ears and his fist makes contact with my cheek

I pull my hand away, wiping away some tears. I look around once more and wonder why I'm here. Is this..

"you deserve to die in hell, you whore."

Oops, I touched a star from my old school. Hope seeps in at the thought of death..am I in heaven? No, I should be in hell for what Horrible person I am.

Suddenly the stars around me turn red around me. I look at them panic over taking me as the red stars surround me. They gain getting closer and closer.

"cut,cut,cut. You are as fragile as paper, deserved to be cut." They chant.

"No!" I yell, my voice sounding as if underwater. I try to run away from the stars, but they are fast getting louder and louder.

"cut,cut,cut. You can't escape your own brain."

I cover my ears, curling into a ball as the stars crowd around me chanting and whispering. They only get louder and louder as I cry for them to stop. They scream the loudest scream I've ever heard and I dig my nails into my palms, expecting them to quiet.

I dig my nails harder and harder as blood pours out of them. I watch the blood form into big red hands that engulf me in a hug. The hug is warm at first but gets tighter and tighter,until I can't breathe and I'm gasping for air. I dig harder and harder, making the hands grow more and more violent.

"I deserve to die. No one wants me." I choke out, before the hands and the darkness go away..

I keep myself in a ball, not daring to open my eyes in fear of what might I see. A warm hand cradles me, spreading the good type of warmth all around me. I slowly release my nails into my palm, letting my self relax.

"S-Shane..is that..y-you..?" I choke out, my eyes still closed. The breathing becoming harder and harder each moment."Shane..i can't..." I panic.

Shane rubs circles on my back."Yes, Chris, I'm here. Everything is going to be ok, focus on my heartbeat."

I listen in to his calm rhythmic beat of his heart, and feel my breathing start to slow to a normal pace. I slowly, let my eyes flutter open at the familiar room. The white wall displayed in fan art of the younger Gabbie Hanna.

"W-why are we at G-Gabbie's apartment?" I ask, my voice so quiet and soft.

"It's okay, she's going to help you, babe." I feel my breathing pick up again, and I snuggle into Shane's chest. His heartbeat calming me down, making my eyes fall shut.

"aww Shane, she's adorable!" I jump at Gabbie's voice, causing both Shane and Gabbie to laugh.

I frown, holding on to Shane's presence as much as I can before it disappears too.

"at least she didn't get the bad genes from me!" My frown deepens at how chill the two were, and I wondered if they ever had a thing before.

They don't care, that's why they're laughing. Cut,it'll make you feel better.

I dig my nails into my palms, harder and harder until I feel blood. I dig deeper, making me wince. The voices chanting louder and louder to cut.

"honey, no. Dont do this to yourself." I hear Gabbie's voice, rolling my eyes."C'mon, lets go clean it up."

"I can do it by myself, Gabbie." I snap back, mostly because I have my razor in the pocket of my skirt.

"You're not going to go and cut in that bathroom?" Shane asks.

I shake my head."No, why would I." I turn on my heel before Shane can say anything else and hurry off to the bathroom.

I didn't need Gabbie to be my new and improved womanly figure-I had Morgan. Morgan,I trusted alot more, even if she still is an actual child.

And I didn't want Shane to help either. I love Shane, but he doesn't understand anymore. I don't want all this to be to much for him. They'll all just send me away..

One slash, two slash, three slash, four..

Shane

I watch Chris as she speed walks to the bathroom, something clearly on her mind. I learned that if I give Chris some space, she'll calm down a little. I just dont know how to stop her from hurting herself. How much space is too much space?

"Yikes." Gabbie says.

I sigh, starting to fidget with my nails."yeah, I just don't know what to do anymore.."

I hear Gabbie get up to confront Chris. My hands still fidgeting and fidgeting until-

"S-Shane..S-shane-" I run to the bathroom to Chris on the ground crying in her hands. Gabbie practically holding Chris together.

"I-I'm so sorry.. I w-wish I was better." Chris whispers.

"For what, baby girl, you have to tell me." I go over and crouch with Chris and Gabbie, throwing my hands around both of them.

"For, for everything! F-For ruining you, for trying t-to hold it all inside...f-for.." Chris stops. I feel her breath start to pick up, so I only put my as around her. Holding her so tight, careful not to let her go.

"for being alive.."

Chris

My breathing picks up at my last few words about to come out of my mouth. I have Shane and Gabbie and Morgan, Ryland, but I still felt empty and distant. My father's words still haunt me in my sleep. His abuse makes me want to quit at everything. I am sorry to Shane, for being a handful. I am sorry for everything-for,

"f-for being alive.." I whisper.

I feel Shane whisper a response, holding me as if I might fall apart or disappear from his grasp. Gabbie lets out a gasp, but still reassures me. Even after she saw those awful cuts on my thighs.

I don't know how long we were sitting on Gabbie's tile floor. It must have been hours because the afternoon sun had set to evening. It casted its autumn gold light through the apartment windows.

"Chris, we need to head back, Jake and Erika are coming to the house soon to film the final part of the series." Shane says, startling both Gabbie and I.

I nod, not saying a word before following Shane out. I hugged Gabbie a goodbye, whispering a thank you. Now, what was on my mind was Raven. At the bleachers she defiantly opened up. Mostly because we connected so much together. I remember Raven wanting to talk or come over so we can hang some more. I just hoped that she truly wanted to hangout with me and not want it all to be with shane.

Me: Hey, can we hang on Friday. I need someone.

That sounded so cheesy but its already sent. The delete button wont help anyone now. Almost instantly Raven replies.

Ray: yea I'm down. What's up?

Me: Idrk how to start it. I'll probably miss school tomorrow if I beg Ryland enough. I just need someone rn, and Ik we cant hang till Friday, so I'll just spill the beans then.

Ray: Ok, yea I understand. See you Wednesday? Boo.

I nod, confused a little at the 'boo'. What is that supposed to mean? Maybe she is just joking, probably.Maybe.

Me: Yea, bye boo

What the hell was that?