Say You Won't Let Go *EDITING*

My Change

I peeled my eyes open, allowing them to receive the sun from the light peering through my window.

"Moving Day", I placed both feet firmly on the wood surface peeking out from under my bed. I stretched my arms out wide cracking my back in the process. I had a little spring in my step this morning. I had just paid off my new apartment in New York. I couldn't wait to move and get a fresh start, a new job new life. Hopefully new friends.

I glanced around my room for one last time knowing that I was leaving and wasn't soon returning. I lived my whole life here, but I was ready to pack up my old life and save in my back pocket while my new life took the lead.

The only thing easy about this is, I don't have many friends that I'm leaving behind. Every friend I ever had fucked me over. I remember distinctly Destiny. She was the one friend that I thought actually cared about me.

That was until she hooked me up with Donavan. We dated for merely 10 months before I caught him with his tongue down her throat. I didn't make sense at first, and I never really did get any answers from them. It was all just something I had to deal with. The pain never really left, the weight on my shoulders from that day never really lightened.

Walking over to the counter I grabbed my clothes the only pair I had left out since everything else was packed.

I looked at myself in the mirror just as excited as I could have ever been. I couldn't wait to be getting out of here, far from all my past problems. I turned the shower on and stepped inside.

I washed everything, leaving the shower with wet hair. I changed into my most relaxing clothes, a pair of relaxing cotton shorts, and a sweater crop top, with white converse.

When I got to my new place I didn't want to do anything except relax on everything. All my old couches were thrown away, I had brand new ones coming in and I couldn't wait.

Who knew what was to be expected when you're in New York. Expect the unexpected, it's was slightly scary when you really didn't know what to expect.

I got a light knock on my door, and I smiled. I opened the door to sight for crazy eyes, the one friend I didn't manage to lose.

"Hey Thomas!". He allowed himself inside along with the movers he brought with him. The movers got to work on the boxes in the main room, Thomas fortunately already lives in New York. He came down to help me move out with him. He offered a few times for me to move in with him, but I wanted to live on my own. I didn't even tell him where I was located, I wanted to have my place all for myself without being selfish about it.

"Ready to make it big in New York," he asked with enthusiasm laced in his voice. I knew I was excited but when he asked I got nervous. What happens if I don't make it big, that I fail and my entire move was for nothing.

"I am, but I'm not".

"It's New York! You will be fine". He spoke as if he could read my mind. "Nobody who moves to New York fails, and if they do, they can't live there". He gave a chuckle which I think was meant to lighten the mood.

The moving process took a matter of one hour, they had all my boxes loaded into the back of the moving truck ready to be shipped off to New York.

I however wanted to take one last look at the life I'm leaving behind. An old desk job, no friends, and all the betrayal surrounding me. I needed this new start, this is what I needed. To be able to clear my head and get away from everything. Being here every day and having to go to school with them wasn't good for me, haven't to see their faces when I walk down the long hallways of the university.

To hear their snickering and laughing at me, it all gave me anxiety and depression. I knew they were laughing at me and it hurt. I felt like a fool to ever be apart of their plan to destroy me.

I snapped out my thoughts when Thomas called for my name. I blinked a few times before looking in his direction.

"Come on let's go". He used his hand to usher me towards him. Once I was in reach he grabbed my waist and pulled me into him. Walking me out of the apartment. I closed the door taking in one last look at my apartment in a way, trying to say goodbye.

I closed the door of my apartment, but not only my apartment but my depression. I let Thomas drag me out on to the streets of Louisiana. I took in some air, smiling while staring at Thomas who just stared off into the distance.

I turned back looking at the green scenery, the natural vibe it has. I was going to miss this.

I felt a heavy hand on my shoulder, looking up to meet Thomas's gaze and soothing voice, "Let's go". I smiled walking to the passenger side of the moving truck that was now fully capacitated. Edging out on the road and I couldn't help but look at my apartment complex one last time, feeling some slight regret.

I didn't honestly know what I was getting myself into with this move. The only thing that was certain was Thomas. My apartment could be a dud. Then my job interview a bust then I would have nothing left to go off of.

It was a big decision to just uplift my life and move it to someplace else. A decision I took months to choose, now I was slowly changing my mind.

I rolled down the window letting in the cool October air inside the van. Feeling the air whip against my hair. Made my overthinking go away. Watching my hair flow and rustle around in the air. A sense of peace coming to me, as if this all was a story. My hair perfectly collided with the wind as I kept trying to secure it behind my ear. The sounds of the wind made me feel at home and safe.

The tires of the moving van came to a stop right in front of red light, and I of course couldn't help but look at the walking civilians, just to wonder what they are thinking. To put me in their shoes. To imagine myself walking down the hot roads looking at everyone passing by me with some smiles. It was something calming and peaceful, nothing that triggered my overthinking to occur. It was a relaxing drive and the silent ness was the best part. I didn't have Thomas breathing down my neck trying to talk every second.

The only time we had a conversation, was to discuss the move when we got to the airport. The itinerary was to let the airport workers handle the luggage, then I had to figure out how to board the plane.

Thomas was the leader in that one, he was the professional when it came to this. I was just a humble apprentice who needed help from her teacher to figure this complicated situation out.

I never understood the ways of travel since all I've ever known was my hometown. I didn't plan on having to travel, I would have taken a better job at Louisiana if it was available. But like I already knew Louisiana wasn't the best place to start a career. I'm only 21, I'm beginning my life, I'm not sure if I wanted to spend the rest of my life, in Louisiana working a normal 9-5.

That life seemed tragic and repetitive. Not a way I saw my life. I thought about many options, having my name in the lights didn't seem my type of speed. What I did want was a high paying job where I could have the money and the lack of judgment on the things I did. Nothing seemed more perfect than that. I thought about that the whole flight. Living my best life with the money to do anything I please, not having to listen to anyone or anything.

This made me smile the entire time, the corners of my lips lifting. No matter how hard I tried, frowning was inevitable. I couldn't wait to have life just as I wanted it. To make everyone who ever doubted me, want something from me. Nothing is as good as no revenge. Just living my best life and having everyone jealous of me is revenge enough.