Say You Won't Let Go *EDITING*

Ain't That A Bitch ✅

I finally made it to my apartment, calming down the rush of warm tears. The tears were filled with embarrassment and shame. Most of all from the fact that I was fucking around with a married man. I should have known that shit would have blown up in my face.

Things like that they shouldn't have slipped my mind. He's older than me, he's married and we really have so many odds against us, yet we still ended up trying. We both know eventually it's not going to work for us, so why do I keep trying to put myself through this pain.

This was ridiculous, and I was worse than that for putting up with it knowing that it would hurt me. That it would end up, hurting me more than anyone else. Bakari would end up with his wife and gradually end up happy with her, while I, alone. Sad. Depressed. But you know who can you blame? Me. For ignoring the red flags and trying to find green ones when they were way too far away.

Somethings are inevitable and the fact that I and Bakari aren't a match was something that I was going to have to come into terms with someday. I guess that day is today.

Bakari's POV

"Freya what do you mean? Why are you even here? How did you find me?

"Can we stop playing 90 questions, I'm here to tell you I want to close off our marriage. I want to be with you".

"Why the sudden change of heart?" I questioned

"I don't want to lose you, " she stated, acting as if she was about to cry.

"You think that's what this is all about? Me bringing up divorce? Don't you get it Freya! You never had me! You can't lose something you never really had. Me bringing up divorce wasn't about the open marriage, I don't have feelings for you anymore". I spoke and headed for the door of the office.

"So you don't love me?"

"Freya, don't start this". I warned

"I want to know, do you love me".

I looked from her to my feet, then back to the doorknob of the exit. Why would I tell her that I didn't love her? Once upon a time, I did love her or at least tried to. That didn't work out for me. Our marriage has been open far too long for us to fix it.

I can still remember that one night coming home from a long day's work, to see her disdaining me.

*****

I opened the door to my mansion, the heavy doors creaking with every push I made upon it to allow myself inside.

I was exhausted from work, stressing myself out trying to figure out how to make this company work. We had the costumers and business but it wasn't just how I would have hoped, and I have been working day and night to solve it.

I was ready to relax and kick back, kicking my shoes off at the door. I headed up the stairs, skipping over a stair each time I took a step. Every step I took I could hear some low audible noises. They grew louder the closer I got to the top of the staircase. Yet again another night of frenzy with Freya.

She was sloppy, I knew she wanted an open marriage and in my silliness, I had agreed. I never thought she'd bring her men here, in my home, fucking them in my bed where I'd have to lay my head and sleep. I couldn't do that now, even if I got a cleaning crew to change and clean the entire mattress. I'd still know what's been done on it, the stains that would stain it.

It's the reason I don't even sleep next to Freya anymore. One of the 10 guest bedrooms is where I stay. I can't be comfortable laying in a bed and accidentally laying in some man's cum, I'd be disgusted and ashamed. Freya should be as well, sleeping with someone other than me, I don't need to be shamed, because I already am.