The Dance Part 2

Chapter 305 Forgiven

Bam sat in the medical recliner as a lab tech pierced his muscled forearm with a needle slowly drawing out blood for a transfusion. As the doctor finished his notes in the file, Bam's mind raced through a dozen questions. He rubbed his brow with his free hand squeezing at his temples.

"Mr. Brown, is something wrong?"

"I'm not sure. How do you know I'm a match for the baby?" Bam started to relay the circumstances of Lila's pregnancy but the doctor stopped him short of spilling out painful memories.

"I read your medical files. You and your wife had a paternity test performed some months ago."

"That's correct but those results were sealed for a reason except to us," Bam replied back.

"Normally, they would be Mr. Brown.  But given the immediate and urgent nature of the circumstances, I requested them to be opened."

"You're a very lucky man, Mr. Brown and one day when you retell this story, your daughter will know just how lucky she was."

"My daughter?" It was all Bam could do to choke back his tears. "You mean..."

The doctor nodded and placed a hand on Bam's shoulder. "She is your daughter. The blood test results confirmed that fact as did the original paternity test. I'm surprised you and Mrs. Brown didn't want to know that information sooner."

"It wouldn't have mattered." Bam answered back.

"Clearly, it did Mr. Brown." The doctor could only surmise from the change in Bam's demeanor that there was great relief in the knowledge that this new being, this baby girl, belonged to him.

"When can I see them?"

"Let's get this tranfusion done and then we can talk some more."

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It was hours before Bam would see his wife and their baby girl and in that time, he had shared the news with his immediate family that the newest Brown was indeed his progeny. Relief, joy and guilt swirled in his thoughts. How could it have ever mattered if she wasn't his. She would have been of Lila and that should have been enough, but the joy of knowing she was definitely his baby made his heart soar erasing all the negativity that had festered in his soul. Matt  was also relieved to learn that the baby was truly his brother's daughter. He had carried so much guilt inside of him for inviting the danger into their lives. He felt a sense of redemption that everything wrong had been righted with this knowledge.

Jill took her husband's hand for she too realized that his pain had dissipated. "Everything is as it should be Matthew. Walk with me. Let all of this news sink in. I think Bam has his own demons to fight."

Matt and Jill walked outside to gather their thoughts in the cool night air. "You can forgive yourself now." Jill cupped her husband's stubbled cheek. "I know you've been carrying this burden alone. But now, it's time to forgive yourself. This was never your fault. I know you believed it was."

Matt looked into his wife's soft, caring eyes. She knew him all to well and yet, she loved him regardless of all his shortcomings. "Just say the words, Matthew."

Matt finally summoned all the courage he had inside to say the words outloud to himself and to his wife. "I am forgiven."

"You are forgiven." Jill repeated the words a second time. It was as if the weight of an anchor had been lifted off of his heart. His soul felt lighter and for the first time in many months, he felt redeemed. Matt pulled his wife closer to him, embracing her tightly.

"Promise me, you'll never leave me. No matter what mistakes I make."

Jill pulled back from his embrace staring into his soulful eyes. She clasped both sides of his face shaking his head slightly. "Matthew Brown, after everything we've been through, nothing, and I mean absolutely nothing, could ever keep me from you."

Matt laid his forehead against Jill's. "I don't deserve you. I just don't deserve your love."

FORGIVEN by Sovereign Grace Music