Simply Complicated

chapter 26

"So tell me ... are you dating someone?" Asked shruti

I was quite. It has been a week since our college started and we both get alonged really well. To know someone , you just need to travel and eat with them . And I got alot to know about her.

She is beauty with brains. She loves to make friends . In one week only we were friends with half of the class. It was like she completed me .She helped me out in my assignments . It's like I got another sister who meant so much to me.

Even after spending this much of time ,I haven't told her about Murat.

But the thing was .
Were we even dating?
Even I was confused. Though we confessed but there was never a boyfriend girlfriend thing between us .

Other than that.
Should I trust shruti . Trusting someone is not easy . But my heart said I should not shut people and talk to them instead. And shruti was really sweet , it's difficult to not trust her .

And I always listened to my heart that's exactly why I was in this position all confused.

"Kind of dating " I said

"What do you mean by kind of , it's answer is a yes or a no and nothing in between"

I told her our story from the start and told her that even I was confused with what we both were upto.

It was clear that I loved him and he liked me but expecting love from him was my mistake .

"Dude , ask him straight away before things get complicated. Why is he not clear about it . And why haven't you asked him yet . What are you waiting for?
I think he is just as confused as you are but in a different way . He is confused maybe because he just wants to friend with you and nothing else but then your story gives hints that he wants more than a friendship "

One thing was sure ,that she understood my situation and surprisingly she said things which I always thought of .

"See, for me dating is not important. The only thing that is important for me is him . As long as he is by my side I dont need or expect anything from him ." I said

"Don't date , but at least make sure that he won't leave you "

I knew Murat till then and I always had this gut feeling that one day he will leave me and i would be helpless .

What shruti said totally made sense .
I knew what my next step would be . Her words kept echoing in my ears as if she opened my eyes that were shut for so long . Or maybe I was afraid to open it .

As shruti said , I need to clear this before it gets more messy....But I felt as if this wasn't a right time . So I thought of another plan but if this plan doeasnt work ,then I think I won't even talk to him after that .

My initial plan is to ask Murat to meet me. If he comes then there is a little chance of us together and if he doesn't then I would leave him forever.

Saying is easy then doing but I will try to leave him, because if I don't mean anything then why should I even talk to him.

I prepared myself for a no from him before even asking him but I had hope in him too. I don't get what I am upto. I feel all messed and the person responsible of this doesn't even have any idea about it.

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