Mind Games

Chapter 48 - Sam

The persistent ring of the alarm dragged him out of his sleep.

He had been in the middle of a nightmare where he was trying to present a case to a boardroom full of people. Except that they were laughing at him. Pointing and laughing. And on his boss's face was a smirk that told him what everyone thought he was. A loser.

Sam scrabbled to turn the alarm off.

He was almost happy to be rudely woken up. To discover that it had all been a nightmare.

Today was the day of the big presentation. It was all ready. He knew what he had to talk about. He was in control. There was no way he would make a fool of himself.

He sat up in bed, feeling a sheen of sweat clinging to him.

This day could mean his promotion... or his lay off.

He took a deep breath. It would be okay... It would be okay...

He glanced at the notifications on his phone. A message from Wendy.

He felt a pang of guilt. He had barely met or spoken to her lately.

He hadn't told her about the possibility of his layoff. She had enough to worry about in her life.

He thought of the diamond ring in his closet drawer. Nothing fancy, but he knew she would like it.

He knew she was the one he wanted to spend his life with. But he couldn't give her the life she deserved if he was laid off.

This day meant everything. If all went well, he would propose to her tonight.

The thought brought a smile to his face.

"I can do this." He told himself, resolutely.

With a new spark of determination, he started getting himself ready.

He stood in front of the mirror and assessed himself.

On the surface, his anxiety didn't show. He looked like a confident, young professional.

He practised a smile in the mirror. Yes, he was in control. All would go well.

He glanced at the time. He had fifteen minutes to spare. He could go through the presentation one last time. Just to be sure.

He flipped open his laptop and logged in.

He reached out to open the file and then frowned.

It should have been on his desktop. That was where he had saved it last night.

A sense of dread crept through him.

"It's okay..." he told himself. "Take a deep breath... it has to be somewhere. I must have saved it in another folder. I was just so tired last night."

But he knew. He had saved it on the desktop.

He searched anyway. Through the finder and then, desperately, through each folder. Each precious minute ticking away.

He looked at the time in resignation. He had to leave now. There was no way he would reach on time if he didn't.

But he would reach and do... what?

What would he tell that boardroom full of people?

That the project he had worked on for the past six months had simply vanished?

That he hadn't taken a back up because he didn't think something like this would happen?

That he had all his notes but wouldn't be able to put them all together in the next hour on his way to work?

What could he possibly say?

What could he possibly do?

He felt helpless tears fill his eyes.

There was no point of going to work now. They were planning to lay him off anyway. And he lost the one chance he had to stop it.

He had to talk to Wendy. She would understand. She would tell him none of this mattered. She would tell him they would figure life out. Together.

He blinked his tears away as he dialled her.

"The number you have called is currently switched off..."

Sam looked in surprise at the time.

Wendy would be getting ready for work now. She wouldn't switch her phone off.

A new sense of dread started building up in him. He tried to squash it down. Possibly something was wrong with her phone.

He suddenly remembered the message notification from her. That might explain it.

He pulled up her message and stared.

For a moment, his vision blurred. He was reading the words but his mind refused to understand what it meant.

'I'm sorry I could never satisfy you. I did all I could, but I will never be good enough for you. I can't take this anymore. If you are happy with her, be with her. I can't see you with someone else. Goodbye!'

Someone else?

Goodbye?

What did that mean?

He frantically fumbled with his phone, dialing her again... and again...

"Sam..."

He looked up in panic and saw Amy projected out of his laptop camera.

"Wendy... I can't get through..." he choked out.

He got up in a frenzy, grabbing his wallet. "I have to go meet her!"

"Sam... Sam... Wait. There's no use. It's too late."

He froze. "What do you mean?"

Amy looked at him, sadly. "I tried to stop her, Sam. I really did. But she was convinced you were cheating on her."

"Cheating... what... I would never... where is she?" Sam felt his head spin.

Amy sighed. "She killed herself, Sam. I'm so sorry."

Sam felt his breath stop.

No. This could not be true. He couldn't lose Wendy.

"No." He said, stubbornly. "It can't be."

Amy sighed. "Let me show you."

The projection changed to an image.

Sam stared in horror.

It was Wendy. Her long blond hair tangled down her shoulders. Mascara ran down her face. A razor blade in her hand. Pressing against her veins.

He had done this to her. He was responsible. He wasted the past six months on a project that ultimately meant nothing. And he had lost the most important part of his life.

The frenzied thoughts drained out of him.

He loosened his tie and pulled it off.

He felt numb. Like he was dead already.

In a trance, he walked into the bathroom and shut the door behind him.

In the empty room, the image dissolved back to Amy.

She smiled, sadly.