BREATHING | seungjin

08

jinnie. is the only word that stuck in hyunjin's head. he lays in bed, staring at the ceiling as it strikes two a.m. he has four hours till seungmin goes to the bus stop, but he doesn't care about how much sleep he gets because he's only going to visit him then dips. school doesn't apply to him in any way.

running his hands through his hair, he smiles slightly. god. the sweater he gave to seungmin was never returned, he didn't mind but he was worried that it reeked of cigarettes. he hoped it didn't bother the boy but he was glad he accepted the offer.

but seungmin's smile, his cute gestures and appreciation towards him makes his heart feel weird. at this moment he would have grabbed his pillow and squeezed it tight to his chest, allowing himself to squeal like if there's no tomorrow. but he maintains his composure, he bites his lip occasionally smiling as he thinks of the boy.

hyunjin didn't want to say he's in love, interested or intrigued by him. because they only just met, yet he didn't want to disappear on seungmin.

because his words stuck.

he didn't want him to randomly disappear. to where one morning he's waiting, two, then two weeks later or more he hears on the news that a boy has passed from the intake of cigarettes. he would hate to be the one who made seungmin cry.

that's the last thing he wanted.

as he glances at the box of cigarettes on his night table, he reaches over for it and pulls one out. he opens his window before grabbing his lighter, but he takes a second look at the small object. he lets himself roll it around to between his fingers, for some reason he doesn't want to light it. he doesn't want to smoke it, though he's stressed over seungmin and his feelings. something is kicking him in the gut that screams 'no!' 

but it hits him, his smile and presence. his everything is set in hyunjin's mind, just being called by his cute nickname is all it takes.

'jinnie!'

hyunjin drops the cigarette and he freezes.

he throws his lighter and lets out a low gruff sound.

"enough." is all he says to himself, "enough."