Afraid of being confident

Job hunt (1)

1.

Tell me what you think about it, please :) Enjoy!

"Ugh!", I groan. The next exam is in a few days and I can't really study. My roommate has the mission to sing while she showers in a volume that I can't concentrate. And I need to!

High, all the time, to keep you of my mind...uhhh....uhhhh. She sings

I turned my phone off a week ago so that I could fully focus on myself. My plan failed. My friends stop along, trying to pull me out of my apartment into the nightlife. My mom calls every now and then and complains about her financial situation. And I am sitting on my chair in my room looking in one of my books. Psychology a very dry material. But it has to flow into my mind and stuck there. Just for this next exam and then it can fade away...like always. And there is another big problem. I need a job. Immediately. My moms words appear in my head: Honey, I don't know how to say it, but you know... your father and I can't really bring up that amount of money for you and your brother anymore. I understand that you both want to study, but he can't have a job. You have to help us, if you you want to keep on studying, honey. We're so sorry. It's hard for us, too... And that was the part where I stopped listening. I needed a job. Hey, no problem! I can study this hard subject and job around just like it's not a big deal. But it is a big deal. I can't focus on all that.

"Hey, Leslie, come out of your room, roomie", my roommate Clare says. Yes, she came into my room without knocking and yes, she's only covered by her towel. And no, I don't want to come out, I have to learn, but everyone keeps on in ignoring me.

"Can't, Clare, have to learn", I say without looking up.

"Leslie, don't fool around. I can see that you are not able to learn. Come on I help you find a job. Sounds like an idea, right?"

She's right. I can't focus myself while one part of my mind is wondering about the question What job am I going to attend?

We are sitting on our gray couch, drinking a glass of wine. Alcohol always helps us to get ideas.

"Ok, lets start setting up a list about what you could do, ok?", Clare suggests. She's always the optimistic one of us.

"Babysitter?"

"Nope, I can't stand the smell of diapers. Sorry. Next one"

"Bartender?"

"Can't hold a tray", I chuckle

"Cook?"

"You don't want to taste some of my pancakes, I swear"

"You could tutor someone!" She spits out, like it's her most brilliant idea ever.

"That could be one option, if I would earn enough money, which I don't"

"You are kind of difficult, Leslie. You know that right?"

I knew it. That's the reason why I'm still not working. I always find a reason why I can't do the job. Because I have to study so much, or because I don't have the qualities or I will not earn much money.

"Working in H&M isn't the right job for you either?"

"Nope, I can't work that often for so long", I sigh. I never wanted to set a list up with her and it's tiring me out because she just can't give up.

"Honey, I don't know.. maybe you should become a stripper", she laughs out loud. Is she really thinking that this is funny?! It sucks. I would be stripping for my whole life now, if I had the perfect body for it. Dancing two nights a weeks, showing a bit skin and earning a fortune sounds pretty good. But I'm too chubby for it so destroy that little bubble in my head. Ping, it cracked.

"You could sing in some clubs, Leslie!" she interrupts our silence of thoughts.

"You know that I'm too shy to do it, Clare. Give up. I wont find anything good."

I could have found something good already if my expectations weren't so high.

"I'm going out for a walk now, trying to be able to learn again afterwards, ok?"

I walk around the city for an hour. Right when I am in a turn to walk back home a sign catches my attention.

You want to catch a big fish? Become an escort girl!

Interested call: 0900-135467