Afraid of being confident

Don't ever run away again (19)

19.

He only has one bedroom. Why in this world is here only one room with one bed and no, he's not doing what I think he's doing. He unbuttoned his shirt and crosses the room and some long steps before I feel his lips on mine and his hands a little to low on my back and too pressuring. No, I'm not his fuck buddy. I never was and never will. Because I have to admit that I keep falling for him... but this is disgusting. I don't want this. He presses his lips harder against mine while I try not to kiss back. I DON'T WANT THIS!

I never knew I was strong enough, or if I only got him by surprise, but I push myself away from his body, wipe my lips with my forearm and probably look pretty crazy as he stares at me surprised.

"I don't want this", I say out loud and it feels so good to speak up.By his raised eyebrow, I see that he doesn't understand.

"I'm not your thin, dumb, fuck buddy. I'm sorry that I've fallen for your tricks to get me so far and I enjoyed it but if that's what you see in me then no thank you!", I spat in his face. I think deep down that I wanted to slap him, but I haven't had the courage for that.Lucky, that I didn't change or leave my purse somewhere, it's set and close to my body as I turn around and walk out of the room as fast as I can.

I slam my fist against the button to close the elevator door as I wait to hear the familiar movement. And then I give myself a few seconds of relief. I press my head against the wall, close my eyes and wait to arrive downstairs. He can't take the steps which gives me time to walk out on the street.

The hotel staff looks confused as I almost run out and ignore the question if I need help, before the cold night air touches my face and I continue walking. I stop after a few minutes of fast walking as I'm overwhelmed by the city noise, the lights and the fact that I'm deeply lost in a city where I haven't been before. I begin to freeze in my little, black dress, but am giving me a mental high five for wearing sneakers. That's me. I'm silly even when I'm desperate.

The cars race past me, a few people come out of bars or apartments. To my right is the entrance of a subway station in which I walk into. I don't know what the stations mean where I could get off and decide to drive almost to the end. As far away as possible. Thanks to my family background and the need to work as an escort girl – I don't have enough money right now to get to the airport and afford a plane ticket. I'm only a student.

The cold air hits me harder as I expected as I walk down the streets again and find a bench near the water. And even though I've never been here, I'm pretty sure this is the Michigan lake. Or a part of it. I stare out onto the water as my phone vibrates and it almost slips out of my hand as I see from whom I got a text.

"Pretty girls shouldn't run around in cities at night when they don't know them"

One simple text that sends shivers down my spine as I know exactly who sent it. Well, I don't know who, but I know that it's the stalker again. Did he follow me? Can he see me right now? I'm getting paranoid as I look around.. I don't see anyone, which could be good or bad right now. Rather bad. No one can hear me..No one cares if something should happen. I get up and try to remember the way back to the subway station. I get into one randomly and get off when most people do. Some things make me think that I've been here before and then I find myself standing between streets..having no clue at all. I hear a crack above and feel rain drops falling on my body. It couldn't be a better evening to be outside...lost..*note thesarcasm*

I turn around look for a map, suddenly very desperate to get back. I don't find one and right as I want to answer one of Max' calls, my phone dies and I curse and curse about not getting a new one,changing my number and being able to answer calls and not being followed by some creep.

Great,Leslie.I'm taking back the mental high five that I gave myself before. The rain, well actually water now, runs down my wet hair and soaks my clothes. My sneakers make sucking noises as I walk and suddenly bump into someone, who disappears cursing and calling me stupid names as I stand there frozen and shocked. I groan out in frustration and don't realize that a car slowed down beside me, until the window scrolls down and I hear a familiar voice.

"LES!"

I stop where I stand and see how Max gets out of the car and walks towards me. I don't care if he's angry, I forget everything and walk into his arms, soak his jacket and sob into his chest. He kisses my wet hair before he lifts my chin up and pecks my lips.

"Don't run away ever again, 'got me?", he growls before his eyes soften again. I just nod and sit next to him. We only drive around two blocks until we arrive at the hotel again. He takes my hand and leads me through the lobby as I keep on staring at the floor, too embarrassed to look into their faces. The bing of the elevator wakes me up again and I automatically find my way into the bathroom to change real quick before I come out of it and am pulled onto Max' lap.I bury my head in his neck and whisper into his ear; "I'm sorry".

He pushes me away to look into my eyes. "I'm sorry for making you feel the way you feel. I keep fighting against it, Les, but I can't deny the feelings that I have for you any longer. Now that you're here with me.", he admits. He respectfully waits for my answer.Which is a kiss. I'm a fool, but I'm falling for him. I'm falling for the bad guy.

I'm surprised that he stops kissing me after he turned me around and just lets me cuddle into his side as he covers us up and I drift off before he can say another thing.