Afraid of being confident

Night One (4)

Night 1.

"Ok, honey. Tonight is your first big night, huh?", Brenda says like it's nothing special.

"Seems so", I mumble. She acts like she heard nothing and goes on.

"Ok, Leslie, this mister wants to eat with you. Wear a nice dress. The first nights are with your own dresses, but when they see you, they will send you new ones very quickly", she winks "His name is Mr. Chad...he's around 50 and has wife and three kids..but I think his wife is lame and he needs something nice to show in public, you know what I mean?"

"Yup...." But I'm not really sure, if this is what I wanted...He is 50 for gods sake! He could be my father and will probably be fat and hairy and stinky..uhh! Gross!

"Go honey, you have to change and stuff...go,go,go,go"

She's way too excited!

I enter the dressing room next to the office we met in and look through my bag for the 'perfect' dress as Brenda called it before. She said I have to glow to throw all the focus away from all the old wifes back to me..I don't like the thought of it..the wifes wont be happy when I steal the spotlight, not that I think that I could possibly do that of course. That black dress would be ok and my black ballerina shoes. My brown hair is curled and I have a decent make-up on as I walk out of the room back to Brenda.

"That will be ok for now, but we have to work on your shoes. Mr. Chad is quite small so that these ballerinas of yours- she gives me a look- will be ok for tonight. Wear pumps next time, ok?"

I nod. When I wear pumps or high heels I'm walking like a man on eggs. And my feet will hurt and then I will have to stop walking or dancing and wont be a pleasant company anymore. And the list goes on what happens next. I don't want to lose my job and keep her advise in my mind.

"Your taxi arrived. Do what he wishes, enjoy some champagne and let him pay of course, besides of that be you, flirt with him, make him happy and have fun" She pushes me out on the street and into the car. Wow..I wasn't ready for this. So not ready...but screw it.

I get out in front of a huge hotel which has its own restaurant, I guess and walk towards a man who looks just like the man I saw on Brenda's picture. Yup, like I thought..old, chubby. Ow boy..this will be fun.

"Leslie?", the man asks

"Yes, that's me" Ok, play along I demand myself "nice to meet you Mr. Chad"

"It's my pleasure believe me, young lady. Ok, there is a very important business meeting with meal going on inside and you'll be my company for the night. Just play along, you're my trainee. I'm a lawyer by the way." Nice to know. I shoul've googled some things about a lawyer and it's apprenticeships. Upps, failure number one.

I follow him inside to a big round table. Everyone is about to sit down and has champagne or wine in their hands when the see us.

"Mr. Chad, lovely that you arranged it to come" Some man says, just looking at me instead of him.

"That's what you are for", Mr. Chad whispers and winks. I just scrunch my nose in disgust.

"Who is your pretty company?", the man asks. He thinks I'm pretty. Oh, dear, his eyes aren't going to be better.

"This is Leslie my trainee."

"Nice to meet you, Leslie. I'm Charlie May"

"Like the season May?" I ask him without thinking about it.

"Like the season, young lady", he chuckles.

We sit down and I don't want to admit it, but Mr. Chad is the only one I know here besides of Mr. May and I'm kind of clinging to him. I don't like big parties with a lot of people who drink. He offers me a glass of white wine, which I gladly take and starts to talk to me about what he is doing. Brenda said that some men only want us to listen. I do my best, if it's the only think he wants from me. He tells me that his wife is not really his wife anymore. They live together because she would get too much money in case of a divorce and they act like they are in love in front of their kids. it's tiring him out, he adds and that he is happy that I joined him during that meeting.

"You see, Leslie. I'm a big and famous lawyer. These men here have the same problem with their marriage as I do but these ladies want the alcohol and the attention for one night. My wife never enjoyed such nights and I pretend to be ok alone. Little does she know that I'm never alone."

"What if there is someone that takes picture?"

"You could be really my trainee, or a lady that I offered a ride home. There are many possibilities before my wife will even think of something like this. Not that I want to put your job down, it's my wife. She isn't that what should I call her? The lightest candle on a cake, do you know what I mean"

I snort out laughing. 'The lightest candle on a cake?' Wow, a nice way to say that your wife is stupid.

I look in his face and see amusement.

"I'm sorry, I never intended to make fun of your wife Mr. Chad, but that sentence is a nice description. I never heard it before and have to keep that one in my mind"

We eat and talk and it's better than I thought. He's nice not too pushy and accepts the fact that he could be my father. He never tries to touch me and keeps his distance. If everyone will be like him then this job isn't that bad.

He calls a taxi for me at midnight and I'm happy and exhausted as I fall into my bed. I don't care about my dress. I'm tired and drift off to sleep.

I wake up by the sound of Clare who is singing loudly in the shower before she walks through my room, stopping in front of my bed, holding her towel.

"You had a date and never told me about it?! Seriously, Leslie?! I'm disappointed!"

"I wanted to see how it goes and was sure that he's not the right one" I begin to lie "I was right, it was horrible and will be the last date ever. Satisfied?"

"Never, get your lazy ass up and tell me every detail about it while we eat breakfast!"

She is disappeared before I can complain. Great, I will have to lie again and again. I'm not like that and I hate it. I take a shower and meet a waiting Clare in the kitchen as I finally walk up to her and plop myself down on the next chair.

"Tell me!"

"Um, his name is...his name is..." Great, I could have thought of a name while I was showering. A name , give me a name ! My phone starts to ring and I excuse myself. I was never so happy that someone called me like now. It's Brenda who wants to know everything as well. But it's easier of course to talk to her and I am relieved to find an empty apartment as I walk back into the kitchen.

Clare left me a letter which reads that I'm not excused and will have to continue next time we meet. Typical Clare.