Pen Pals

Petty Me

It was her, no doubt about it. I mentioned her name twice more, meaning another two more punishments for myself. However, is it even worth it? She doesn't know who I am, or maybe she's forgotten me? No, she simply doesn't even care about me, which I don't blame her for. She has every right to not care about me. Her obnoxious bravery inferred that to me earlier on this evening. And just because it was her I scooped so low to not have thrown her in my office to have a discussion on why she'd be sent back to where she came from. But then again... it was her.

I had so many questions.
Where did she learn to speak Korean properly?
How could she see right through me?
Why was she still affecting me?
Who did she think she was talking to?
What made her want to come here, to taunt me?
When did she find any piece of work a piece of cake?

The sight of her just meters away from me made oogle. Her smooth dark chocolatey skin, which clarified that she looked after herself well. Her plump juicy glossy lips, almost made me come out of my shell to just kiss her then and there. Her hair, which was straight and silky was in a perfect ponytail, which looked neat, but something about me disliked it. I wanted to see her big mass of frizz she used to aways complain about. The frizz my hands wanted to grab a hold of so much. Regardless she looked well groomed and grown. Her face was no longer round, but instead perfectly heart-shaped. Ugh!!! There's so much I could describe about her-
HANAIYA FUCKING PETERS, GET OUT MY HEAD!!
....

"What's wrong?" Asked my eomma.

I just looked at her, before lying through my teeth and telling her "nothing."

"How or where did you find the courage to lie to your own mother? Hmm, probably a trait you picked up from you father." She spat. Her words stung, which made me instantly regret my actions. This woman was the only person who could see right through me without hesitation.

"Eomma nothing is wrong, just thinking about how to better my transferred employees experience at work." I half-lied. I was thinking on how to break 'Hannah'. As malicious as it sounds, I wanted to see her vulnerability on how she couldn't cope with the work load. By her hating me, I can remove her off my mind. I've always had a tendancy of removing the unnecessary from my head space. Despite how petty my plan sounded, she needed to be just a worker for me, nothing more.

"Hmm... I should slap you. You still continue to lie. You have the same look on your face from when you stopped talking to-"

I couldn't handle hearing her name, especially so much in one day.

"Eomma stop assuming things. I must fetch your tea and soup before they get too cold." I said bravely, before fetching her tea and spicy soup. When I returned, she was sat upright in her bed.

"She is here isn't she?" Said my mother knowingly.

"Who is here?" I pretended to be oblivious.

"You know who." She rolled her orbs.

"Whatever you've seen on the media with me and any women, it's not true. Just the paperazzi. So no girl is here." I tried to aliby.

"If I wasn't so sick I would get the stick and seriously whip your grown-self. I am in disbelief that you'd go so far to even come up with a bullshit story like that. You know I'm not interested in that publicity rubbish, so why even-.. Ahhh I know for sure that she is here. Look how she has you even lying to your own mother! Look how twisted you are!" Angrily snarled my mother. Again her words stung me. I didn't reply to her.

I contacted a private carer to monitor my mother and a maid to clean my mother's house. She's never let me do this for her before and is livid as to why I decided to do it now, but she was sick and I care about her, so someone had to do thinks things for her. By doing this, it loosened some of my tention on the other topic.

Shortly after I left and arrived home, I sat at my grand piano. I played the unthinkable, the concerto I composed for her, and guess what? Much to my surprise it was needed. By repeatedly playing it, but in all the styles I desired, I didn't realise the intensity of how I had played, until a hair strand fell in my eye. I let out an annoyed sigh as I removed it, before I tried to look for my fallen hairband, but due to my dark surroundings I had no chance. Where did the time go? I had no idea that I was sitting in darkness.

Whilst waiting for my dinner to cook, I drifted into a daydream.

She walked out of my bathroom in nothing but a robe of mine. Her hair was in its natural fluffy state, which I loved. As I was watching some pathetic K-drama she sat on me, facing me. She grinned at me before kissing my lips. I was long for her. The thought of having her wrapped in my arms. Finally, all these years I had to wait, but now I have my wish. Then she pulled out a knife and stabbed my heart before vanishing into thin air.

I shook my head at the thought, before I got up to dish out my food. I sat in silence as I contemplated on my punishment, I really deserved it now, now I see a reason or a point, because if I don't she'll keep on appearing on my mind.

I went to the bottom of my walk-in-closet to find the little black box. Once found, I took out a blade. I went to my bathroom with a pen in hand and wrote cut 11 on it. This time I was unsure on whether I should do it or not. My poor left peck was full of ugly scars, which only I could see. Yes they were faint, but still visible by touch.

I looked at myself in the mirror as I wettened the blade. When wetting the blade it slices the skin easier. I then followed through with the act, the sharp pain I used to of felt was almost numb. No tears fell and the feeling of the back of your eyes stinging, because you wanted to cry, I no longer had the need for. There was no pain whatsoever when I saw my skin part and blood begin to trickle down my body.

"Fuck you." I whispered before throwing the blade away and cleaning myself up.
...

I put my hair in a neat bun before spraying cologne on myself. I grabbed my coat and left my place. Today I decided to drive one of my babies to work. I blasted some contemporary jazz music, whilst speeding through the good and bad streets of South Korea. Just round the corner from my HQ I saw Hanaiya, dressed in black with a white blouse, walking down the street with some other guy. I only could pick out his caramel skin and dreadlocks. Oh and the fact that they were both laughing and walking away from where they were supposed to be going. I checked my rolex and realised they didn't have to be in work as early as me.

It's work she wants? Well I'll give her that wish. What a petty CEO I am. Indeed I am, but only for her.

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