I know, I fucked up again
I was only just concerned
But sorry, I forgot that I can't be
Apart of this family. It's a sin.
But you didn't have to yell so loud
Or treat me the way you do
I only mean well
Because for once I want you to be proud
But I know you don't see me As family,
you proved that 6 years ago
At a funeral
But I'm trying so hard, can't you see?
You wonder why
I don't tell you the things I should
And why I say I'm fine
When the cuts on my arms call out my lie
I guess I should thank you
Because you help me realized
That someone like me would never be loved
Not even by family, who was supposed to
Why does it seem,
That you're the reason I shatter
Every single time
I need a shoulder to lean
You helped me realize
That no one's ever truly here
And that they'll end up yelling
Until I'm paralyzed
I just want you to love me
I've been trying since I was born
But I'm a fuck up
Who will never be part of the family tree
Everything I do,
From "being happy"
And smiling
Is all for you
But it's like you want me
To not be happy
Or have the will to live
As you drown me in my own sea
I understand it's my fault
And that I shouldn't cry
Because I brought it on myself
I lost by default
But would I make you happy?
If I just killed myself?
Because that's how you make it seem
When you just hate me
The sad thing is you
can yell at me
And you can hate me
But I'm still gonna try for you
I just want your eyes to shine
With pride
And say "that's my daughter"
But I'll never be that shine
For I am a monster,
You said so yourself
And even tell me that you hate me
Because I'll never be her
YOU ARE READING
Poems of an Outcast
PoetryA collection of poems where I write my thoughts down. It's unedited and is mature since it mentions a lot of my mental health issues. There is Poems that actually talk about my love for the sky and the rain if you're more interested in the happier...
