All Strings Attached (taglish)

Real Numbers

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*FREYJA ZELENE’s POV*

I don’t believe in Forever

That night, a month ago, hinayaan lang ako ni Zeke umiyak sa harap niya. Walang tanong. Walang sinabi. He drove me home using my car. I have no idea paano siya nakauwi pero hindi na kami nagkita o nagkausap na ulit pagkatapos nun. None of my friends asked, none of them said anything, they just let me be.

I felt like shit. I was such a coward. Trying to protect my feelings but damning myself in the process. I never felt that way for anyone, so fast and so sure, I got scared. So I did what I did best, I ran from it.

I didn't even try to reach out to Zeke. Hindi din naman siya nagre-reach out so I figured, he realized what a mess everything had become. It was too funny to even analyze - from nothing to something? It was pure bull; something supposedly just physical turning into the most emotional time of my life. I had never been as confounded, confused, and desperate for answers in my entire life. But I still refused to ask the questions; hell, I even refused to recognize that I had questions. I still chose to put my walls up, bolt the doors and hide in my corner.

Screw it. I don't care about the pain building up in my heart for not knowing. I'd rather not know than get answers I didn't want to hear. 

Fortunately for me, my family always had perfect timing. My Aunt and her family came home for the holidays, my uncle decided that our entire clan would spend it in Boracay, we were to stay there until after New Years. He has shares at one of the posh resorts there so we will enjoy the island away from the crowded stations. Both my parents were home from their out of country trip in time for my Aunt’s arrival. My Aunt is based in Toronto, so whenever she comes home, everyone makes time for her. So we hauled all 29 of us (including 4 yayas) to Boracay on Christmas Day. We arrived before lunch and were promptly taken by speedboat to the hotel.

While our parents checked us all in, my cousins decided to explore the beach, my brother and nephew tagged along. I went into one of the lobby toilets and changed into my beach wear. I left my carry on with Yaya Geena and I decided to walk towards Willy’s Rock, medyo malayo pa na lakad. My phone rang. It was Sophie.

“Zeel, saan ka na?” They found out I was going to Bora so they decided to go too.

“Nandito na. Nasa may Willy’s ako. Andito na ba kayo?” I hadn’t asked kung anong oras ang dating nila but same resort lang kaming lahat.

“Oo andito na kami. Nauna lang kami sayo ng konti. Wait ka lang dyan meet ka namin.”

“Achie!!!!!” narinig ko ang pinsan kong si Brad tumatawag sakin habang the rest of my cousins were running behind him.

“Oh!”

“Achie, hintay daw natin sila Papa dito. Wag ka na lumayo.”

“Ha? Eh tapos na ba magasikaso dun? Pwde naman tayo maglakad na dun, memorize na ng Papa mo itong buong isla.”

My uncle who is 13 years older than I am frequents Boracay, every year no fail.

“Hindi, Achie dito lang daw tayo wait natin sila.” Pilit ng pinsan ko.

 Nagswimming swimming na ang iba kong pinsan. Ako naman nilatag ang sarong ko sa buhangin at nahiga. Makapagpa-araw na nga lang habang naghihintay. I put on my shades and closed my eyes.

Maya-maya may nagblock ng sun ko. Nawala kasi ang init na kanina ine-enjoy ko. Napakunot ako ng noo.

Without opening my eyes, “Excuse me. You’re blocking my sun.”