Innocence Lost (Negan x OC)

tension

My hand shook with fright as I stared down at the heavy liquid that was now coating my palm. I was puking blood. Fucking blood.

"Hey kitten, what's-" Negan sat up beside me in the bed, his sentence halting when he saw what I was holding. I could practically feel the air shift as his body tensed.

"Christ." He whispered. I didn't look to him. My eyes were too focused on the contents that had just bubbled from my body. My body trembled, making the bed shake and my vision blur. My breathing was erratic and my head dripped with sweat. What the fuck was wrong with me? What could possibly cause me to puke blood? Was my body just finally giving up and killing itself?

"Stay put. I'm gonna go get, fuck, Dr. Carson." Negan stumbled over his words as he stood from the bed. My eyes finally flickered to him as I watched him take off towards the door. His loud voice boomed through the hallway as he shouted for the doctor. His words became faint as he got farther away from the infirmary. Farther away from me.

The panic of the situation finally set in when I was alone. My eyes shifted back to the blood in my hand and a shudder surged through my body. This couldn't be happening. Before I could process what I was doing, I threw the blanket off my body and tried to head towards the bathroom. I needed this blood off me now or I would have a fucking panic attack. Becoming terminally ill was one of my biggest fears before all this shit set in.

As soon as my legs felt the weight of the rest of my body, they crumbled beneath me. It felt like I hadn't used them in months. My body smacked against the hard cement floor and a groan escaped my parted lips. My hand hit the concrete as well, sending the blood splattering onto the floor.

Each of my muscles screamed at me in agony as I pulled myself off the ground. My legs burned as I ran, or tried to run, towards the bathroom. My hands were against the white wood and I pushed forward, leaving a bloody handprint that I was sure wouldn't come off.

The rusty faucet of the bathroom sink groaned as I turned the knobs quickly. I didn't even bother turning the light on.

A sigh escaped my mouth when the water finally came out. I stuck my hands underneath the cold stream and scrubbed violently, trying to rid my skin of the red color. Blood never bothered me. I had been covered head to toe in rotting blood but I got use to it. However, something about blood coming out of somewhere it shouldn't was enough to send me spiraling.

It felt like ages but I finally got the color off my skin. My palms sat flat against the countertop while I breathed deeply. Turning to the side, I brought my hand up and flicked the light switch. A gasp escaped my mouth at my appearance. My eyes were dull, almost lifeless. The once peach color of my skin was now a pale shade under the bathroom lights. I just looked so frail, even though I didn't think I had lost weight. I still had the curve to my hips, something was just different.

My body shook as I leaned over the sink and cried. I sat my palms flat against the marble counter and just let my emotions overcome me. Everything in my life was so screwed up right now.

I was crying so hard that I didn't notice the door to the infirmary opening. My small cries filled the bathroom, alerting whoever was here that I was upset.

I jumped a little when I felt two arms around my waist. A broad figure stood behind me and pressed their back against my chest. It was obvious who it was by the height and the musk radiating from them. He sat his head on my shoulder and placed a soft kiss to my neck. My eyes flickered to the mirror in front of me and Negan's gaze was trained on me. The amount of worry and sadness in his eyes was enough to make me want to cry even more. He was hurting by this too.

He turned me around slowly so that I would face him with my back against the counter. I was met with his dark eyes that never failed to send a shiver through me. I wasn't scared of him but his gaze would always make my knees buckle and my heart race.