Innocence Lost (Negan x OC)

stockholm syndrome

"He what?" Lucas looked at me, his eyes wide and his mouth open slightly. I put my face in my hands and groaned.

"He tried to kiss me and I..." I trailed off into my hands. The embarrassment I was feeling right now as I told him was almost too much to bear.

"And you... what?" Lucas pressed, sitting forward in his chair as if this was the most interesting story in the world. I removed my hands from my face and looked him in the eyes. He waited for my response quietly but I could see the excitement in his eyes.

"I rejected him. I pushed him away." I said and as soon as the words left my mouth Lucas slapped his hand over his face.

"Oh.. you did not.." He trailed off. I mocked his actions and put my burning face into my hands again. He groaned and I wanted to die.

"I swear to god he has been chasing you for a year." Lucas sighed while sitting back into his chair. I furrowed my eyebrows and took my face from my hands, looking at him. What?

"He's been what?" I asked, my left eyebrow cocking upwards. Lucas gave me a 'Really?' look but I just continued to stare at him confusingly. After we stared each other down for a moment or two, he rolled his eyes and sat forward, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

"You really haven't noticed?" Lucas cocked an eyebrow at me me and I just stared blankly at him. My head shook back and forth at him and he let out a sigh.

"If you haven't been aware, Lucas, I have been very occupied with El and being pregnant. The last thing I would notice is a guy chasing after me. I know that sounds heartless, but it's true. I have been completely unaware of any advances he might have made in the last year. Well, except for the one earlier." I said as the embarrassment returned in full swing. I swear I could feel the heat radiating off my cheeks.

"Damn, I think everyone has noticed. It wasn't but a couple days ago that I watched Rick eye him while he talked to you. Kinda like a father would watch over his daughter if a man was hitting on her. That sort of thing." Lucas grabbed his coffee and took a quick drink.

"Wait.. a couple days ago.... Oh my god." I slapped my hand over my face as I remembered Siddiq offering to come over and cook me dinner. I turned him down, something about needing some time with El.

Lucas eyed me as memories of Siddiq hitting on me flooded my brain. Everything from wanting to spend time with El, to offering to come make us dinner... he really was making advances towards me.

I groaned loudly and sat back against the couch, my hands covering my face. I could hear Lucas chuckle so I quickly grabbed one of the decorative pillows next to me and chucked it at him. It smacked into his chest and fell to the floor, leaving an astonished look on his face.

"Did you just throw a decorative pillow at me?" He gawked. I groaned again.

"This isn't funny, Lucas. I totally just broke Siddiq's heart. And all because of Neg-" I stopped myself before I could finish the sentence. Lucas' smile fell and the air in the room became still. My lips pressed into a line and I looked down to my hands. Way to ruin the mood.

My fingers traced over the white bandage on my arm, the room now completely silent. My mind wandered to Alexandria. I was missing El more than anything right now. We were going to stay at the Hilltop for one more day, although I was itching to get home.

Lucas and I were in the living room of the Hilltop house, watching the sun rise higher and higher in the sky. It was quiet, only the occasional early bird would walk by and greet us. My fingers fiddled with the bandage on my arm, the cut underneath starting to itch as it healed. I wasn't sure where Rick or Michonne were, but I was starting to miss them. The last time I saw them was last night before I went to sleep and I was guessing they were still in bed. Yesterday was exhausting; everyone was feeling it. We had a funeral for Ken as soon as we arrived after the run and it was brutal to say the least. I had forgotten just how hard death was until I watched his parents grieve for him.