Innocence Lost (Negan x OC)

i promise

(JUST AN FYI, I'M GOING TO CHANGE UP THE TIMELINE A LITTLE BIT!!)

An hour after I revealed I was alive to Negan, I thought about Rick. He was about a mile from the Sanctuary, waiting for my signal so he could attack. He was waiting for me to tell him I had killed Negan but in reality I was still in his arms.

I was in his personal bathroom of his bedroom, observing my face. I had to pry myself from his grasp because he thought I would disappear. The nervousness in his brown eyes made me feel bad for leaving him but it was only for 5 minutes.

I honestly was torn on what to do. Should I tell Rick that the plan is off? Should I tell Negan Rick is coming? What the actual fuck was I suppose to do?

My body leaned across the counter as I tried to examine my gun shot wound in the mirror above the sink. I wanted to remove the bandage badly but I knew I couldn't for at least another week and a half. The fact that I was even alive after what happened was insane.

I quickly washed my hands and turned out the light, opening the door and walking back into his room. He was sitting on the edge of his bed when I walked out. His elbows were on his knees and his face was in his hands. His body looked tense. My heart fluttered when I saw his body shake with a sob and a soft noise left his parted lips. He was still affected by my supposed death, even though I was right here.

I padded across the concrete floor towards him quietly. I hated when he was sad. I never saw it much but when I did, it fucking sucked. The bed dipped down as I sat next to him and put my hand on his back. Instantly his muscles relaxed and he looked over to me. I could feel my heart practically breaking in two when he looked at me. His eyes were red and his cheeks were wet. He was so upset. I smiled softly and caressed his cheek.

"I'm alive, Negan. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon. I promise. I love you." I said while holding his broken gaze. It was true. I didn't plan on leaving his side unless Rick needed me. And that right there was the problem, too. Rick did need me. He was counting on me to deliver the plan and here I was, mooching it up with the man he despised. I was so fucked in so many aspects.

His hand shakily came up to my hand on his face and he covered it with his. I felt like he was being so gentle incase I would break. His eyes shut slowly and he breathed out through his nose. The stubble on his face had grown drastically and he now had a full beard. It made me smile lightly.

"When you were shot and I saw that blood.." He said, his voice wavering. My eyes softened and my heart beat rapidly.

"I didn't want to be alive, kitten. Without you, life felt pointless. I didn't want to live if you weren't there by my side." He said and my heart just beat faster and broke more. He really did care about me. There was no way to fake the emotion that coated his deep voice. You couldn't fake the look on his face. You just couldn't. This broken man in front of me loved me with everything he had and I believed it. I wanted to be the glue that put him back together.

I didn't respond vocally. I just brought my lips to his and my actions literally spoke louder than words. I loved him so much. I didn't think it would be possible to love someone as much as I loved him. When he looked at me, my heart warmed and my body ignited. When he spoke my name, I could practically feel the love radiating off my body. And yes, I do know that he killed my friends. He did awful things but I wasn't in love with that man.

I was in love with the man that held me tightly while I slept. I was in love with the man that looked at me like I was the only person in his life. I was in love with the man that loved me unconditionally through thick and thin.

I swung my leg over his waist and sat on his lap. I wrapped my arms around his neck and clasped my hands together. He kissed me back with so much passion that I almost fell over. One of my hands cupped his cheek and the beard was scratchy against my palm. I broke the kiss between us and sat my forehead against his.