Warning: This oneshot contains triggering content and scenes of suicide, if you do not wish to read then please skip. Furthermore, I may not have properly portrayed the themes in this oneshot please don't be offended and just skip the chapter. I have warned you! _______________________________________________________ I walked aimlessly around the halls of the TARDIS, tear streaks stained my face. The Doctor had yelled at me for the first time in months, it terrified me, the normally calm and collected Doctor had yelled his lungs out at me because I had messed something up with the TARDIS controls. I was only trying to help, he had been so stressed and heartbroken about the departure of Rose Tyler. He had started to ignore me completely except for today of course. I never wanted to mess everything up but that seemed to be a talent of mine recently.
My 'talent' had become so much of a problem that I had started to ask to not go out on adventures. The Doctor questioned it at first but soon started to just go without a second glance in my direction, he wouldn't notice if I left I doubt anyone would now, I had been traveling with him for so long now I couldn't tell you when I had started. My life before however I could remember, I glanced down at my arm to see the horizontal and vertical scars that decorated it. I wasn't in the best place at the time and my mental state was at its lowest.
Only now was I realising that overtime, the comparisons to Rose the Doctor had thrown at me and the isolation I had put myself in had dragged me straight back down to that state of mind and it was driving me crazy. I trudged to my room, keeping my head hung to the floor as I did. My goal was to stay as far away from the console room as I could as to avoid any confrontation from the Doctor. I finally reached my room silently shutting the door behind me I slid down to the floor my head rolling forward into my hands the tears coming straight back.
Forcing my head up I glanced in the direction of my bed, my eyes momentarily flickering to the blaster that lay on the sheets, just waiting to be picked up and used. I forced myself up and walked over to it, slowly picking it up, my hand shaking uncontrollably as I raised it up to the left side of my head before quickly pulling it straight back down and dropping it back down onto the bed. My eyes scanned the room looking for one last thing I rushed over to the desk that was empty except for a few trinkets scattered across it. I sat down picking up the pen and scribbling words onto the paper: (Play song now) Rose Girls in glass faces Perfect bodies Perfect faces They all belong in magazines Those girls the boys are chasing Winning in the games their playing They're always in a different league
Stretching towards the sky like I don't care Wishing you could see me standing there But I'm a sunflower a little funny If I were a Rose maybe you'd want me If I could I'd change overnight I'd turn into something you'd like
But I'm a sunflower a little funny If I were a Rose maybe you'd pick me But I know you don't have a clue This sunflower's waiting for you
But I'm a sunflower a little funny If I were her maybe you'd pick me But I know you don't have a clue This sunflower's waiting for you...
Waiting for you...
I sighed as I gently got up, placing the letter on the bed and replacing it with the blaster. The last thing I heard was the deafening ring of the gunshot in my ear as I fell to the floor limp. ________________________________ _________Doctor's POV_________ My eyes darted upwards as I heard the sound of a gunshot echoing throughout the halls of the TARDIS, my feet instantly carried me towards the source of the sound. I reached my companions room, I hesitated before knocking, I still felt bad for yelling at them earlier and wanted to apologise. No sound came from the room, I knocked again, still nothing "I'm coming in" I warned before opening the door.
I stood deadly still in the doorway, my eyes immediately fell down to my companion on the floor I immediately rushed over to them shaking them, they were deathly cold and were extremely pale. The colour in my own cheeks drained as I realised what had happened. A chocked sob escaped my lips as I clutched onto their lifeless body. "I'm so so so so sorry..." I cried, wiping away the tears that had fallen onto them. I pulled them closer to me, crying relentlessly into their hair, how could they have done this?! Was it my fault?
I looked up only to find a letter, my eyes scanned it quickly yet carefully, taking in each word. My sobs only came crashing down harder.
They left me, all alone... _______________________________________________________________
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