Where could he be? a Damon/Simanda story cowritten by simplybgt

Chapter 9: Doubts and Diagnosis

Simon's POV:

Why didn't i say i love you too or i love you back to Amanda?

Am i having doubts about our relationship or did i maybe justforget / forgot to say it because i am being rushed to the the hospital without really knowing why?

To be honest i don't know why i didn't say it back to Amanda but what i do know is that when i look up i see a man that probably loves me with all of his heart and who i probably will love back in the same way some day.

And that man is David i would almost say ofcourse.

David who immidiately rushed over to my house in the middle of the night when i called him to tell him that oh my god...

I can't even say it without feeling a wave of fear and despair creeping into my heart or without tearing up, but i am going to try it anyway: to tell him that my beloved son, my little boy the light of my life the spark in my days , my rainbow behind the clouds Eric went missing.

Eric who's biggest care in the world probably  is :

what am i going to eat for breakfast or with how many toys am i  going to play today?

Sometimes i wish i could go back to those safe times of being a child / kid where Eric's questions and cares in the world were maybe also my biggest questions and / or cares in the world.

Instead of having to wonder  if i will ever see my son , my little smart and sparkly little boy Eric ever again?

And in those safe and mostly carefree times  of being a child / kid i also wouldn't have to think and doubt / wonder  about who i love the most:

David , Lauren or Amanda?

But before i can even started to think about all of those incredibly difficult and at some point even heartbreaking questions , i suddenly get snapped out of my deep and almost philosopic thoughts by the sound of Amanda's soft sniffling. 

Shit  i actually forgot that i was still on the phone with / talking on the phone to Amanda.

''Are you still there Simon my darling?'' Amanda softly asked / sniffled.

''Uhm.. Yes ofcourse i am still here / there Amanda my darling.'' I said as sweetly as i could in an attempt to not raise too much suspiscion with amanda about why i was a silent for a moment.

When i looked up i saw David cringe at my words / reaction to Amanda's question if i was still here / there. 

Maybe David just cringed at the cheezyness of my words but i just knew that he was probably  cringing out of jealousy.

Jealousy that David maybe probably must have felt from theb first that i started dating Amanda.

 Amanda who  can still easily sweep me of my feet with one single smile.

A smile that shines as bright as the brightest lights in a christmas tree.

The Christmastree that once was the center of mine and Lauren's livingroom and that  Eric loved so much right before he went missing.