Band One-Shots (Requests Open)

Just Some Things

*WHOLE LOTTA WORDS IN THIS PART GUYS, BRING FOOD AND WATER! SKIP TO THE BOLD PARTS IF YOU DON'T WANT TO READ MY EXPLANATION BULLSHIT*

So hi, I'm not dead, I've just been busy as shit and I'm sorry. 

 DISCLAIMER: I am gonna put a trigger warning on both of these stories because I tend to write about stuff like suicide/self harm, anxiety, struggles of being LGBTQ+, eating disorders, that sort of stuff in class when we're given a writing task because I find it easier to write since I can base it a lot off my life and really get as much emotion as I can in into the stories. I wrote the first two stories you guys are about to read while I was in English class and I just wanted to share them and see what you guys think coz I want to expand them into either their own respective stories or have them as one-chapter stories.

STORY ONE: (written for gonerfromslowtown)

Rain. That's all I could seem to see for miles. Hundreds upon thousands of the tiny drops of life pounding into the ground, soaking into the earth, the scent of petrichor rising into my nose as I sat on my case

As the rain danced off my red umbrella, dropping onto the soaked ground, my mind began to wander as to how I got here in the first place.

"Mum, can I tell you something?" I'd asked, twisting my hands nervously.
"Of course, darling, anything!" she had exclaimed, a smile wide on her face.

"I'm trans. This body isn't mine. I wasn't supposed to be a girl," I had said, and I watched her face contort from expression of happiness, into one of rage.

"You what? I will not have a fag living under my roof! I did not raise you as a boy, you are a woman!" she shrieked, making my ears ring.
"Well, I am and there's nothing you can do about it!" I shouted back.
"Don't you dare raise your voice at me young lady!" she roared.
"I. AM. NOT. A. FEMALE!" I screamed, my throat crying out in pain. That's when she slapped me. I stopped dead in my tracks, turned on my heel and stormed out of the room, holding back a flood of tears as I sprinted up to my room and flung my bags on my bed, hurriedly stuffing all my possessions inside.

And that's all I got up to in that lesson because the teacher told us to pack up for lunch. I wanted to try and portray a coming out gone wrong because if you don't have accepting parents and friends, it's one of the most stressful things and I'm sure a lot of you know first-hand just as I do how hard it can be. Just remember guys, if you ever need someone to talk to, I'll always be here if you need me. You can tell me anything you need to get off your chest and know that anything you say will be between me and you, I promise. 

STORY TWO: (this one I'm really proud of)

The demons. They'd followed me for years, lingering, scaring off everyone close to me. The silver monsters that turned me red, the white monsters that made everything numb, like I'd stuck my hand in ice for so long I wasn't sure if it was there or not and the black monsters. They're the worst of all. They're the ones that whisper things in my ear while I'm awake and haunt my nightmares as I sleep. I knew they were behind me. But for how long would they stay calm? How long would it be before they turned me into one of them? 

So, I think you guys can guess what 'monsters' I was talking about here but in case anyone's confused:

Silver monsters that turn you red: Razor blades, knives, anything people use to self-harm or 'mark'. I prefer to say ' mark' instead of 'self-harm' just because it's a reminder (or at least, in my way of thinking about it) that marks fade and go away over time and you get better. Please tell me I'm not the only one that gets it?

White monsters that make everything numb: Painkillers, short and simple. Again, this is part of the way I write, in that when I visualise feeling numb and empty, I think of everything in black and white and a really common visual for me to get is a pill bottle lying on its side with little white pills scattered around it.

And the black monsters, the worst ones of all that whisper in your ear and haunt nightmares? I pictured that one like a big black hulking shadow that's constantly lurking just behind you, always there but never seen. Honestly, that one was just based on depression as a whole. 

So there's an insight into what I write in English class. Oh and, I have one last thing I wanted to share with you guys! So, as you guys have now read, I like to write about controversial stuff. So when my school announced that they were looking for entries in a (national) short story competition, I was more than happy to enter. 

The thing was, there had to be a maximum of 500 words which is where I get stuck coz ya'll know I talk too much. But, I remembered that this book exists and there's a story in here titled I'm A Goner. It's a Joshler fic. I couldn't enter it as is, so I changed the title,  edited it and got the teacher running it to read it. She helped me fix it up and I was so game to enter it but I missed the deadline for entering stories coz I was working...but ya know, I still have it saved on my laptop so here is my (unentered) short story. If you've read the original, Tyler is Kohl and Josh is Mikey.

Don't Let Me Drown. 

           My head spun. Clutching at the wall of my bunk, my throat felt like it was filled with thick cement, weighing me down. It felt like I had become a marble statue on a sinking ship. The water way too far over my head for me to ever reach the surface on my own and no-one was around to save me.

"Kohl?"

'Oh great, speak of the devil.' Mikey popped his adorable, oval-shaped, tanned face into my bunk, with his impossibly deep blue eyes shining. His usual dazzling smile dropped suddenly upon seeing me, curled up, drowning in my tears.

"Kohl, you okay?" he asked. He sounded worried. I opened my mouth to speak but no words came out. I shook my head, my chest tightening as the room began to spin. My heart felt like it was going a million miles an hour. I felt dizzy, like I was going to pass out. It felt like reality as I knew it had exploded and I was caught in the thick of it.
"It's happening again isn't it?" I faintly heard Mikey ask. I guess I nodded because he pulled me into his chest and he rocked us back and forth. He began to sing quietly.

"I'm a goner, somebody catch my breath. I'm a goner, somebody catch my breath. I wanna be known by you. I wanna be known by you,"

I felt my breathing slowly return to normal and the room slowly began to swim back into view.

"M-Mikey?" I stuttered out and he stopped singing.
"Yeah Kohl?" he asked, looking down at me, his enchanting sapphire eyes gazing into my own dull copper-toned ones.

"Can I tell you something?" I asked, sitting up and moving to face him.
"Yeah sure. I've actually got something to tell you too," he smiled gently.

"Should we say it at the same time?" I suggested but I didn't want what I had to say to get lost in a jumble of words.

"Alright, on the count of three," he replied. And that's when I tripped. I mean, I knew what I had to tell him, but I just couldn't get the words out. It felt like I had swum almost all the way to the surface and the air above was within my reach until I opened my mouth and the rushing anxiety and nerves came flooding in. I took a deep breath, pushing the weight off my chest and urged myself to continue trying.

I nodded and on three, I found my voice again, the words rushing to my tongue, the pressure building in my throat, finally getting myself to the surface, my struggle over.
"I'm gay," we said in unison.

It's so cliche, I know. 

Sorry about the spam guys but I'm just happy to be back here. 

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Love you, stay alive, stay safe, stay strong, wake up. 

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T