Innocence

The New Family

Keren was starting to annoy me. At first, I found it funny; the fact she was so clearly offended by me dropping her that she'd resulted in trying to get the entire school to hate me. Though now she was becoming a pest, and her attempts at turning the other girls against me were starting to look pathetic and whilst I didn't care about myself, it was starting to encroach on the time I wanted to spend with Esti.

Some girls had tagged onto Keren's wagon; though it was all girls that I'd been friends with before and got bored of some way or another so that didn't surprise me. The rumours they would try to spin made me out to be some sort of predator, which I found funny, but Esti didn't.

'Because I enjoy it just as much as you.' She replied after I asked her why one day. She was running her fingers through the length of my hair as I rested my head on her chest. 'It's wrong.'

We were both naked, perspiring and wrapped in a blanket on top of my bed; the Rav was out doing something or visiting someone. I didn't care where he was, I just knew he'd left a simple hand-written note on the kitchen side saying: Out – back late.

We'd had an interesting day at school; Keren and her small gaggle of followers had been sitting under our tree in the playground waiting for us both to arrive. Shayna and a few other girls had eventually joined us too; I think they thought it was some sort of gathering. Keren had goaded us, mostly me, for the whole hour to an uninterested audience. I made my way several times to threaten her with a branch, but Esti had pulled me back.

'Don't you think it's funny?' I asked her, tingling under the touch of her fingertips.

'No.'

'Well, then wouldn't you rather them think it's all my fault?' I asked genuinely.

'Not really.' She mumbled.

'You don't want them to think I'm some big bad wolf luring you into my lair?'

Esti gave a short laugh, but her voice turned serious. 'No,' she said. 'It's not right.'

'So then why don't we tell them the truth?'

She went quiet. 'Because it's... ours. I don't want everyone knowing. And I still think if our parents find out we'd be in trouble.'

I shrugged and let her continue playing with my hair. I didn't enjoy talking about the other girls with Esti. It wasted time. I started stroking her leg under the duvet. I could feel the soft fuzz of pale hair on her thigh, it sharpened my breath.

'We're lucky Keren's such a liar.' Esti murmured. 'I don't think anyone really believes her, that she saw us kissing.' She carried on talking, she always did that on the rare occasions I was quiet.

'Everyone in this place always wants to believe something.' I said, a bit too scathingly.

'What do you mean?'

'Have you not noticed how much everyone talks? About everything and everyone? They don't care if something is true or not true, if it means they can laugh at someone's expense they'll talk about it.'

'I... I know it happens at school.'

'It happens everywhere, Esti.' I sat up and scratched behind my ear. 'You really haven't noticed? That's why Keren loves talking about me and why she makes up stories. She sees her mother and her stupid friends doing it about everyone else in the community.'

Esti looked uncomfortable; she must have been thinking of her own mother, who was one of the biggest culprits. Her eyes were looking to the floor and I'd moved away, so she started toying with her fingers.

'But it's okay. It won't last forever.' I said, not entirely knowing what I meant.

'I know. Keren will find someone else to talk about.' Esti said, with a small smile. 'Then she'll leave us alone.'