Innocence

The Shopping Trip

Esti and I didn't leave her bedroom at all that afternoon. We remained there for hours; naked, entwined and undisturbed. Towards the early evening, she went downstairs to make chicken sandwiches for us, she brought up hot tea and biscuits she'd baked as well, and for twenty minutes we ate and drank and replenished our energy. Afterwards, when we kissed, her mouth was warm, and it tasted like dark sugar and cinnamon. It sounded stupid when I thought about it, but I felt that each time we kissed, something was being cemented inside me. I couldn't help but understand that the feelings I had for Esti grew more profound every time we touched. When I thought about that, it scared me. So, I didn't think about it.

'What time are your mum and dad home?' I asked, offering her the last cigarette I had, she took it from me and took a lungful of smoke.

'I don't know. Probably soon.' She peeked through the curtains; it was getting darker outside. I could smell the city flowers in bloom mixed with the tinge of pollution, it was the smell of summer in London. Esti was leaning against the window sill wearing a baggy, green t-shirt that originally belonged to me. She'd had to borrow it one day after spending the night at my house because we couldn't find her clothes in the piles of mess in my bedroom. Now I suppose, she had claimed it as her own. 'You don't have to go though.' Esti said, handing the cigarette back to me.

'It won't be long until my father calls.' I said, taking a long drag myself, trying to smoke away the heavy stone in the pit of my stomach; I hated that I was ruled by him. I took a step towards Esti and stroked her bare legs, feeling a rise of goosebumps on them. 'I would love to stay, but I probably shouldn't piss him off.'

'Just stay.' She begged. 'I'll tell him it was my fault, that I made you stay.' Esti said, standing up so that her eyes were level with my mouth. She leaned up and we kissed, the bitter smoke and honeyed sweetness from the biscuits created a harsh contrast but it was enjoyable. 'Please?'

I started to laugh. 'He's stupid sometimes, but I don't think he's that thick.' I flicked the cigarette out of the window and stared at her lips. 'No one would ever believe that you're the bad influence.'

Her jaw poked out, and her lips twisted in the way they did when she was angry or upset. 'Okay.'

'If I go, you won't be mad, will you?'

'No.' Esti said, taking a few steps towards her bed. 'You're right. You should go and... make the effort.'

I nodded, though I wasn't convinced. 'Normally you're the one rushing to go and do normal things.' I said. 'What's changed?'

'I just miss you when you're not here.' Her hand was clasped to her neck, her knees pulled up to her chest. 'But you're right, you should go and shop with Mrs Ceder.'

'Ohh,' I groaned. 'I forgot she was there.'

'Really?' Esti tittered. 'How could you forget?'

'I don't know, she just completely slipped my mind.' I groaned again and sat on the end of Esti's bed. I heard her crawl towards me, and soon her arms were around me and she was kissing the nape of my neck.

It felt good, so I let her carry on; soon her hands were spreading over my chest and down over my stomach. I let out a short gasp and she did too. I felt thrums of excitement tickle my skin, and when she let her teeth graze my skin I was hit by a shiver of exhilaration in my ribs. I turned quickly and pressed her back into the mattress. Our legs twisted together, and one of my hands found its way under her t-shirt. My other hand had just started lowering, my nails trailing over her abdomen, when the Halper's phone rang out through the house, stopping us both.

'Fuck, see, I told you.' I said, standing up.

'It might not be him.' Esti said, sitting up and pulling her shirt down. 'Let me get it.'