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for a long time, i have been searching for a word to describe the bouquet of feelings you give me: the anxiety, the warmth, the affection, the happiness.
till the point that i find no need to. after all, that was all i ever remembered; just the time we shared together.
what were we doing? what were you wearing? i think we were laughing about something, but what were we even talking about in the first place? what was your reaction when i got you that something for your birthday?
what did i even get you for your birthday?
it depresses me to think that i can never remember, no matter how hard i try. all i can remember is the bundle of nerves that you make me feel.
i always tell myself that the time is near. the time when you’d walk away, taking the foggy image of us with you. but that’s okay — i try to comfort myself. you’d be okay, that was what mattered.
i was haunted by it. i was haunted by the fact that even though you might be happy with someone else, would i ever be happy?
