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there is a reason as to why i can’t tell you how much i love you. there is a reason as to why i can’t stay by your side as long as i’d like.
and perhaps, there’s a reason as to why you won’t love me.
but here we are, sitting at two opposite ends of the room we were in, an awkward air around us.
so much for getting caught sleeping in class. you said, turning your head a slight fraction so that you could see me.
so much for trying to defend you. i shot back, a small smile tugging at the corner of my lips. stop taking me out already. you’re getting too tired.
taking you out isn’t a problem, you yawned, stretching. it’s ‘left 4 dead’.
i scowled. then stop playing that zombie game. you die all the time, anyway.
hey, you snarled back, arms crossed. i beat that boomer yesterday. finally! i died every time he threw that stupid rock on me.
i rolled my eyes. get sleep.
not when i can’t stop thinking about you. you shot me a wry smile, confidence seeping out of your every pore.
shut it. i warned, a hand raised. i’ll smack you so hard, your wig will fly off.
i don’t have a wig! you argued.
you will, once i’m done with you. i smirked, and you fell silent, leaning against the wall in submission.
after that, we didn’t say a word for some time. secretly, though, i liked it. it gave me an odd sense of assurance — a conviction that you weren’t going anywhere. for now.
being alone with you has become a habit. it was dangerous, i was aware. but i was willing to take a gamble. at least, i knew that i have these memories locked away if you were to leave one day.
it’s just that the key will be forever lost.
well, maybe not, if you were here to remind me every day. but even that is uncertain. grey.
i looked up from my lap, and at the same time, my gaze locked with yours. the late-afternoon light was streaming gently in through the windows, igniting the captivating spark in your dark eyes.
and suddenly, i saw a side of you that i have never seen, from the foreign smile that was plastered on your face, to the mysterious glint peeking through orbs of chocolate.
it made me feel something else. something wild and primal. in an effort to subdue it, i clenched my jaw tightly and squeezed my hands together, hoping that it’ll fade away.
for how long we stayed that way, i wasn’t sure. it was only at the turning of the doorknob that your eyes freed themselves from mine, and you turned to face the whiteboard, as if we hadn’t been staring at each other so intently a few milliseconds before.
“Sorry for making you wait for so long. Someone threw up outside.”
the head of discipline regarded us with a firm glare, sighed, then told us that we could leave.
you grabbed my hand as we left, and tingles shot automatically up my spine.
let’s go. the same smile weaved itself over your thin lips, and i couldn’t help but smile too.
