Taming The Beast (Ruthless Series #1)

Kabanata 45

"Hey, baby. Mommy wants to say sorry for being busy lately and I'm s-sorry—" ingat ko ang labi ko at pinunasan ang luhang pumatak sa mata ko. Hindi ko alam kung paano itutuloy ang sasabihin ko.

Tumingin sa akin ang anak ko gamit ang mga matang nagtatanong. Those eyes, those are his father eyes.

I traced my son brows, eyeslashes, nose, lips, and jaw. It really reminds me of him.

'I'm sorry, son you can't meet your father anymore.' Nasabi ko na lang sa isip ko.

I hug him and kiss his forehead.

Hinayaan ko na lamang na maglaro si Kenzie sa ibabaw ng kama habang inaayos ko ang mga gamit namin. My decision is final. Even it hurts so much. Dad is right. Ylena needs Lewis more than me, us.

Lewis:

Good morning, love. I miss you.

Pumatak nanaman ang mga luha sa mga mata ko.

Lewis:

Still sleeping? I'll go to hospital now, your dad told me to. I promise to come to you as soon as possible. So take care. I miss you.

A bitter smile form in to my lips. I chuckles bitterly as tears fall down my cheeks until it reach my lips. I can taste the bitterness and the pain from my tears. Suddenly, I want to shout and cry again.

Can't I be happy?

I look at my phone and rea it over and over again.

Before I thought that Lewis hate me, yes I dreamed of him being seet to me, but I never thought it will really happen.

Me:

Good morning. Please take care of yourself. I miss you too.

Hindi ko na alam ang sasabihin ko. Natatakot ako na kapag hinabaan k pa ang sasabihin ko'y may masabi akong hindi dapat sa kanya. I want to tell him how I love him. How much I will miss him. For him to take care of him self. But I am aafraid that I might tell him about Kenzie; and for him not to let me go.

I can't. I can't be selfish again. Buhay ang nakataya kapag nagpakasarili ako.

Lewis:

Let's have a date later. I have something to give you.

Parang nilulukot ang puso ko habang binabasa ang mensahe ni Lewis. Nasasaktan ako at naghihinagpis kasi gusto ko, gusto kong manitili sa tabi nya pero hindi pwede. I can't. I can't stay with him.

I don't know what to say. Should I told him that I will see him later/ I can't. I can't lie to him again.

Pumikit ako ng mariin. Damang dama ko ang sakit na para bang pinipilit ang puso ko. Halos hindi na ako makahinga sa sakit. Ang bilis ng tibok ng puso ko pero hindi gaya noon na saya ang dala nito, hindi ito saya kundi sakit. Sakit at paghihinagpis na lalayo nanaman ako sa taong mahal ko.

Before when I am inlove with Lucas, and we broke up. I thought it is the worst feeling that I felt pero walang wala iyon kumpara sa nararamdaman ko ngayon. Naghuhumiyw sa sakit ang puso ko.

Nagbagsakan nanaman ang mga luha ko.

Me:

Okay.

Nanginginig ang mga kamay at pigil ang mga hikbi ko habang itinitipa ang mensaheng iyon. Dumako ang anak ko na seryoso ang mga matang pinapanuod ako. Pilit na ngumiti ako sa kanya at pinunasan ang luha ko.

"I love your daddy so much baby, but I can't—we can't e w-with him. I-I'm sorry. Forgive mommy." Sinapo ko ang mukha nya at basa ang mga matang tinitigan sya.