Secrets (A Larry Stylinson FanFiction)

Chapter 17

Louis' POV.

I walked up to Harry's doorstep rocking back and fourth on my feet. I shouldn't be here right now, and I know that but when he said he needed someone, I had no other choice but to come. I knocked on the door three times waiting for someone to acknowledge the fact that I'm here.

I waited a couple seconds before I was greeted with a green-eyed boy with curly hair. His eyes were puffy and a different shade of green. His hair was nappy and thrown into a ponytail that brought out the features in his face. 

"Hi." He tried to smile but his dimple didn't sink into his face like normal. Something had to be seriously wrong.

I pressed my lips together and put my hand up without saying a word to him. Yes I'm here to help him, but that doesn't mean I forgive him for what happened on Monday.

"Would you like something to drink?" His voice was deeper than normal. It didn't have that joy lingering behind it and he wasn't wearing his usual smirk. 

"No thank you." I stuffed my hands in the pockets of my denim jeans and looked around his flat.

"My room then?" He asked taking a couple steps closer to me and I let him.

"Sure." He nodded his head slowly and began walking to his room while I followed behind him trying to catch up with his faster pace.

When we got into his room, it looked different from the first time and it gave a different kind of presence. It was dark in there, the air was thick and you could feel the sadness the room was filled with. Stuff was thrown into the room, clothes were messier then they were last time. I even noticed a broken mirror in the corner of the room with what looks like a couple drops of blood on a small piece of glass. I lifted my head up and turned towards Harry.

"What happened in here?" My voice was more quiet as nerves kicked in.

I saw his eyes get watery and he sat down on his bed.

"Harry?" I walked over to him. My heart was hurting seeing him in pain, in this aggressive moment in his life.

"I told you Louis," He looked up at me and a tears escaped from his eyes and he didn't even bother to wipe them off.

"Told me what?" I sat on his bed behind him so I wouldn't have to look into his saddened eyes. I traced circles on his back with the end of my fingertips.

"I'm no good for you Louis. I will never be. I'm not good for anyone. I'm disguising. I have this disgusting past and it takes over me. I'm an abusive asshole and I can't fix it. That is who I am. I'm a drugged up drunkie who hurts everyone that crosses my path. You know it. Fuck. You were the only person I have ever felt connected to, the only person that I actually thought I could trust and that we might be friends, and I blew it. I lost you already." His crying became harder and I pulled my hand away from his back.

"Look at me." I demanded and he shook his head no. I moved on the side of him so I was able to grab his chin to look at me. When our eyes met, I noticed a tint of blue forming in them with the reflection of the tears. I whipped his tear with the pad of my thumb. 

"Don't you ever say that again." My voice was demanding and I kept my hand under his chin so he would continued looking at me. We sat there a couple of seconds and I slowly removed my small hand from his soft cheeks.

"What happened in the last couple days." My voice was deeper and I put my hand on his thigh. We broke eye contact when he looked down at my hand and whipped the excess tears that were drying on his face.

"It happened." He tried to catch his breath after his break down. I rubbed his leg to calm him down.

"My biggest fear became a reality and I'm scared. Scared I won't get better." He took a deep breath pressing the palms of his hands to his eyes rubbing them harshly, like he wished he could wake up from this nightmare only to realize he was facing reality.