Secrets (A Larry Stylinson FanFiction)

Chapter 20

{READ THIS So, last chapter had very graphic scenes involving sex. I noticed that it is locked for only me and my followers after I talked to a couple people in DM. So if you wanted to read Chapter 19 , you'd have to follow me (you can unfollow after). I'm extremely pissed off because it makes no sense to me , I just don't want you to be confused during this chapter considering a lot went on! }

Leaving Louis standing alone after I was supposed to pick him up and I didn't, made me feel terrible. Guilt filled my veins along with worry and the feeling of sadness.

"Get out of the car." I hissed at Rebecca when I pulled up to her house.

"All I asked you was why you're so fucking angry. Sorry for trying to help." She grabbed her purse from off the floor of my car and opened the door.

"Harry I'm really sorry I'm just a fuck buddy to you." She said as she slammed my car door and I tugged on the ends of my hair with my fingers.

I watched her speed up the driveway with her back towards me and saw her arm fall down from her cheek to her waist. Even though I can't see her face I knew she was crying.

"Fucking shit I don't need anyone!" I blasted the music without opening the windows letting the loud music fill my car not giving me any more room to think.

...

"Harry come down for dinner!" Mum yelled from downstairs causing me to jump slightly.

"I-I'm busy." I whipped my eyes and bit down on my lip.

"Come on Harry!" She yelled louder, her voice getting closer and closer.

"Mum I'm busy." I tried not to let the sound of my sobbing linger in the back of my voice. I watched the blood pour down of my thigh and slide down to the floor.

"Open up." I heard her banging on my door but I tuned her out. My eyes focused on my phone that was buzzing on the dresser and all the sounds started to mash together as one. My eyes became blurry from the tears rolling down my face as I cupped my mouth repeating all the disgusting things people have ever said to me in my head. It's my fault I let this happen all the time and it's my fault that my life is like this. I let this happen to me. I'm the reason my father left. I'm the reason my mum is never home everyday taking care of me or even pretending to like me anymore. I'm the reason the relationships I've had with my family has fallen downhill. Most of all, I'm the reason I have no friends, no one to hold, no one to love. It's my fault but sometimes I'm too selfish to see that.

My head is soar from pulling on my hair so hard. My lips are chapped from my salty tears hitting them every once in a while. My cheeks were burning from bring so dried out. But worst of all, I have more fresh scars to remember this very moment of me realizing all of the disgust I have for myself.

Louis' POV.

After I got home, I decided to call in sick to work because I was just to stressed out to go in. I had to watch my brother and sisters, cook, clean, and do all the shit that older brothers do.

I'm stressed. I'm 19 years old and I can't even think straight. There is never a time when I'm not busy, my time with friends is barley even an option. Another option I have in life is choosing to continue to be friends with Harry when I know he isn't good for me. He's told me many times before how he isn't good for me and lately i've been thinking about it. Maybe he isn't but that doesn't stop me from not knowing why.

"LouLou!" Amber called running into my leg screaming at the top of her lungs because Tommy is chasing her around.

"Tommy stop it." I demanded and sighed. I can't do this anymore. This is so fucking stressful.

I looked down at the little kid and he stuck his tongue out at me, squinting his eyes.

"Let's go." I said picking Amber up and putting her in a stroller.

"No!" They both yelled, crying and screaming at the top of their lungs.

"You have no choice." I feel bad being this demanding to them, but I just can't do this right now.

I grabbed Tommy before he could run away from me and I put him in the stroller also. I ran into the kitchen to get them a cup of applesauce so they would stop complaining.

"Where are we going?" Amber asked as we walked down the street, the streets were too familiar to me, but not them.

"We're walking." I put one headphone into my ear and let the other hang down just in case something happens, I need to be able to hear the kids.

"To where?" Her small voice filled my ears but I didn't answer her. I hummed the song that played on my phone making me smile and sending chills down my body when my favourite part of the song came on.

"Sing to me!" Tommy yelled but I ignored him also.

My phone vibrated in my pocket and I pulled my phone out to see who it was. It was Austin.

"Hey man!" His cheerful voice scared me a little bit. Austin's voice was never happy unless he was up to something good, that rarely happens.

"Hi." I stopped at the crosswalk before crossing the street.

"What are you doing for Spring Break?" I forgot that we had a holiday coming up in school. I have no plans but I don't necessarily need to make them with Austin.

"Nothing." I can't believe I was so caught up in school and work to not even make plans for myself.

"How about you come over tomorrow night since it's Saturday and the first day of break?" I was hesitant about accepting his offer but I had nothing better to do.

"Party?" I asked making sure I was getting the right idea on where this was going.

"I wouldn't call it that exactly," I heard a door shut and another voice in the background. "I'd say it's more of a hangout. Get to know people. Only a couple people are coming. There will be beer and the good stuff, if you know what I mean." Even though I don't smoke, I knew it would be there anyway.

"Yeah. I'll come." I knew deep down I am going to regret accepting this ridiculous offer but there was no turning back now.

"My house at nine. Be there." I heard the three beeps meaning he hung up.

Wonderful.

{ I love you guys, thank you so much. Double update! There IS a chapter after this!}