I Got You | PTX (ON HOLD)

Chapter 1; Journal

Everyone has their first love. Mine was someone who I found so appealing and fond of, then the next second, we wanted to rip each others throats out. This woman was going to get the best of me one day and I'd eventually just crumble beneath her. She's a bitch when she wants to be, she's crazy. She's a tornado inside and nothing will stop her when she starts. She will destroy everything her path. Even the one's she loves. She's a likable person on the surface, but once you've torn that part of her down, she's bitter and distasteful. Even to me at times. She's like a wildfire in my mind, I have one spark from her and the rest spreads on it's own, and it harms me, heavily. 

"Avi?" I hear someone call out from the front of the bus. I turn to see it's Scott standing there with a smile on his face, but a flash of concern over coming him when he sees my face. "Dude, you look like you just got out of bed. It's six in the afternoon." I shrug and close my journal. "What are you up to?" He reaches into the fridge and pulls out a can of red bull, he seems to be addicted to them. I admit, I can be too. 

"Just writing down some ideas for the next album." I lie, getting up and stretching out. 

"Sweet." He says,ruffling his hands through his hair. "Have you seen Mitch and Kirst?" My fingers tingle and shoots up my back hearing her name. I shook my head, answering his question physically and shaking off the tingles. 

"I actually haven't seen them all day." I say, walking into the bathroom and turning on the sink to wash my face and wake my tired eyes. I yawn and turn to face Scott again, who's on his phone like he always is. "Maybe they're out shopping." I murmur. Scott laughs and rolls his eyes. 

"You know Mitch and I well enough that he'd never go shopping without me." He sasses. "Anyways, I want to here your ideas on the album." he insists, walking over to the table, picking up my journal. I run up to him and slam down his hand from picking up the book and look him right in the eyes. 

"Don't look at my journal Scott. I've told you that already." His eyes are wide and he puts his hands up in defense with a nervous face.

I feel bad for snapping at him like that, but he knows how important it is that no one reads my journal. I'm an open man, but my journal was one thing no one was allowed to read or speak of. 

"Didn't mean to touch your diary." he says, sarcastically while rolling his eyes. I push him lightly, as I know he's only trying to lighten up the mood. 

I sit down and open up the book, clearing my throat. I flip through the pages before and see lyrics scribbled down with a couple of suggested bass notes to set the key of the song. 

"My mind was frozen in the blizzards, my mind was frozen. In your love, in your love." I sing in an odd key. I haven't really written it out. All I know is that it's about her. Scott nods his head and smiles. 

"I was thinking you'd be the lead." 

"Sounds sick, what else do you got on there?" I'm hesitant, but I hand it to him. I point to a line of lyrics and he reads through it. "My body was shaking in your earthquakes, you had my body quaking. From you love, no. My life was drowning in tsunamis, you pulled me under baby  with your love,  with your love..." His voice trails off  after his singing with unsure notes. He looks at me and frowns.

"What? Is it bad?" He shakes his head and sighs. 

"It's great, Avi. It is." He hands me back the book and scratches the back of his neck. I furrow my eyebrows. 

"I don't get it. What is it Sc-"

"It's about Kirstie isn't it?" he looks me right in the eyes.

The boy knows I can never lie. He searches for my eyes as I'm trying so hard not look at him. My fingers fiddle around the book and my lips are pursed together. I still avoid the eye contact, staring out the window of the tour bus. I could just imagine how bad this was going to get. The thought of me writing a song about Kirstie, and it's mostly bad things. I feel horrible, again. This side of Avi is always sympathetic. Or just pathetic. 

"Avi, answer me." Scott says, squatting down with a look in his eyes. I face him and nod. 

"Yeah, yeah. It's about Kirst, so what?" I retort. 

"That's our best friend Avi. How could you write a song like that about her? You're making her sound like a complete-"

"You have to admit when she's around me she acts like one!" I shout back at him, standing up. He's still considerably taller than me, but I don't shroud to his height.

"That is my best friend, I don't give a fuck whatever you're feeling about her. I get that you're keen of her. We all know that Avi. It's not a secret anymore. But I'm not going to stand here and be defenseless against any rude things you have to say about Kirsten." He hisses. 

"You don't get it." I snap. 

"Woah, woah." Kevin sticks his head at the front of the tour bus again and sees us going at it. He walks up to us and breaks the space. His arms are pushing us away from each other and our backs press against the bunk beds. Our eyes staring angrily at each other. "Break it up guys, c'mon."

"You better not say anything to her." I snap again. Scott's eyes die down and so do mine, after all we are the closest friends.  He nods, with a sense of irritation still upon his face. 

"Fine." He says, emotionless. Kevin is standing in between us with his hands still pushing us apart. He waits a few more seconds before pulling away and staring at the two of us. We're all staring at each other in silence. 

That is until we hear heaps of laughter coming from the front of the bus yet again. Mitch and Kirstie stand there with take out dinner in their hands. They see us standing there and there is a moment of silence. I look into Kirstie's eyes her eyes flash with a sense of confusion and hurt. I look away, wanting to hurt a little less. 

I hold my journal in my hands and push past Kevin, walking down the aisle of the bus with every ones eyes on me. I walk down the stairs and onto the pavement. 

"Avi!" I hear Mitch call after me and I don't dare turn around to let him know I hear him loud and clear. He constantly shouts my name for attention, and I continue to ignore it. 

My fingers hold onto my journal tightly, with a lot of words ready to be written.

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Yeah, I'm a pentaholic too. Enjoy! x -Zoe