I Got You | PTX (ON HOLD)

Chapter 22; Only One

Song of the chapter; Salvation by Gabrielle Aplin.

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Kirstie

I pace back and forth with my hands running through my hair. I haven't said anything to anyone. I see it in the guys' faces that they're concerned from my silence. Esther is the only one who's been given any information because she's the only family member here right now.

My face is probably coated with make up and tears and frankly I don't care. I just want to see Avi. I want to know how he's doing. Everyone is worried, but I'm ready to shout at anyone, get on my knees and beg for me to see him. It's been hours and I've gone without any sleep. Kevin mentioned -after I had gathered myself- that Avi had gotten into an accident. The other driver was alright, but Avi was hit head on at full speed. After that, I had no other information.

There's a moment in time when everything stops and a doctor steps outside of the doors and all of us seem to sprint to him, hurt in our hearts wondering what had happened.

"He's alive." he turns to Esther. "You can go visit him but only you for now."

She nods and follows him down the hall, speaking to the doctor, leaving us there to continue wondering.

I still remain silent, falling into a chair. My feet ache, my heart hurts and my stomach rumbles. This day started with everything going smoothly. Avi holding me in his arms like the rest of the world and it's problems weren't there. So many things are running through my mind and I want to burst into tears again. At the moment, I don't feel anything but relief knowing that he's alive. But the word that I was searching for in that doctors voice was 'okay' or 'alright'. For all I knew, he wasn't out of the woods. He was alive, but anything could go wrong at any moment.

Kirstie.

Stop thinking this way. Be strong for him.

I'm going insane without him. I realize that now he's the one holding me down to maintain my sanity. How could I ever function without him? Simple, I couldn't.

More hours seem to pass by that I don't have the privilege to see him.

I grow impatient and I look over to see that Scott's eyes flutter, falling heavy. Mitch is already fast asleep in his arms. After everything that has been going on with Travis, it seems that Mitch is now growing attached to Scott. I sort of anticipate the idea of them having something. But even that doesn't relieve me.

Kevin's head rests on my lap, falling asleep as well. I try to contemplate how long we've been here. I check my phone and Avi's face is there, smiling at me. Tears emerge in my eyes seeing his smile, praying that he is okay. The window at the end of the room beams the moon and there is a bit of light. It's 2 in the morning so the sky seems to brighten up sometimes.

After a few minutes pass by, the door at the end of the hall opens and Esther walks out, wiping her tears dry. I position Kevin off of my lap and let him get back to sleep. I nearly run over to her and she stands in my way of the door.

She doesn't say anything.

She only lifts her hand and slaps me hard across the face.

I let out a gasp of air and hold my face.

"This is all your fault." she hisses at me, tears in her eyes. "If it wasn't for you he wouldn't be here."

"What?" I whisper quietly, not wanting to anger her more.

"You and him. You guys are both getting management on my case and he stormed out of the cafe after I tried talking some fucking sense into him." the breath is taken away from me again, Esther never swears. "Thanks to his anger from is so called 'love' for you, he sped off and got hit."

"This isn't my fault Esther." I state, barely having any courage to stand up for myself.

"If he doesn't pull through I will never, ever forgive you. No one will." she spits at me.

She only pushes me to the side and walks away. I don't turn around. my face is still stinging from her vicious hit. I wince a little, touching it. But after I hear the door behind me shut close, I take slow steps down the hall and a dim yellow light is shining from the room with the door wide open. The faster my feet take me, I'm in the room and I see Avi laying there in the hospital bed.

There's constant beeps filling the room and my heart slows down. My palms sweat as I get closer to him. My breath is shallow, now looking down at his face. There is a tube going down his mouth, and I know it's helping him breath. His face is bruised and there are cuts along his arms. My knees buckle again, reaching out to touch him. He's warmer, but I know he's out of it. I'm praying to myself the whole time, begging who ever is looking down at him to keep him safe. I hate myself for not doing it in the first place.

It seems like my instinct kicks in again and I walk slowly to the end of the room and flick the light switch off and the room darkens immediately. I shut the door with my shaky hands, tears rushing down my face. Once I hear the click of the lock, I shift and turn back around on my heels, to face Avi in bed again. I remove the shoes off my tired feet and strip my jacket. I let it fall to the floor, not caring for it.

He's shifted on the other side. I pull back the sheet from his bed and hesitantly crawl in - not wanting to harm him more than I already have-. My feet wriggle past the sheets, overly clean and smelling horrid. But again, I could care less for anything else.

I take his hand to wrap around my body, my head laying on his chest that barely rises and falls. My heart is pounding faster, hearing how slow and dim the sound of his is. My hand rests at his stomach, and we both lay there. His hands don't run up and down and squeeze my arms like he always did. They're lifeless around my shoulder and rests on my strands of messy hair. Tears stream faster down my face and though he's not awake, I hold in sobs.

"I'm so sorry..." I whisper to him.

And it hits me, laying there, holding him because it might be the last time I ever hold him.

I realize I could loose him. He was the one who loved me from the start and nothing in the world was ever going to change that. He took punches for me, scratches for me. Everything. For me. He was more than just some man I loved. He was a man I was in love with. Everything he did, everything. It has me falling for him harder, every single second of every single day. I fell for him. And now I was going to loose him.

Right then and there, I knew.

Avi Kaplan was the one.

He was the only one.