Dragon Age One Shots

Halloween

The eerie cackle of a witch sent Alistair hopping over the couch and fishing for the bowl. A monster's bellow broke from the horror-themed doorbell, the kids getting antsy for their candy. Still, he paused before the door, smoothed back his darkened hair, and draped the plastic black cloak across his forearm to hide away his nose.

With all the smooth moves of a classic vampire, Alistair cracked open the door. A trio of tiny tots, dressed as superheroes instead of potatoes, looked up at him.

"Vat is this?" Alistair gave a perfect Bela Lugosi impersonation — if Bela had the flu and switched to a British accent halfway through his vowels.

"Trick or treat!" The chorus nearly knocked him on his arse as the kids extended their buckets and pillowcases high.

"Trick or treat?" He dropped the cloak to reveal the candy bowl hidden inside his cloak. Every tiny eye widened as they sized up the chocolate concoctions hidden inside a plastic bowl covered in fake spiderwebs.

Alistair snapped the flimsy plastic teeth in his mouth. "You did not come here for treat." He raised his hand high, rattling the cloak while looming over the unimpressed children. "You came for me to suck your blood!"

Unfortunately, on the 'Blood' he overextended his jaw and the hinge in his fake teeth couldn't keep up. Slobbery, plastic fangs tumbled from his mouth and landed in the Red Power Ranger's pumpkin bag.

"Oops," he gulped, slapping a hand to his mouth as the kids all got a eyeful of his saliva oozing through the gaps between their snickers and mars bars.

"Aaaahhh!" they shrieked as one, spinning on their heels to make a run for it even as they accidentally kept they fake teeth they were fleeing from.

The trio got down the walkway before Alistair waved to them, "Wait, wait. You forgot your candy...!"

With a resigned sigh, he slid back inside and shut the door. Out of nowhere, hands locked around his stomach, causing Alistair to jerk upwards in shock. Thunder rolled through his chest, his heart leaping in terror until he turned to find soulful blue eyes staring from between linen bandages.

"The rate you're going, we're gonna have to eat all that candy ourselves," she laughed, a hand sliding down her curvaceous hip. All of those bandages cranked her va-va-voom to eleven.

"Mmmm," Alistair moaned, "when do I get to unwrap the mummy?"

She laughed even as he nuzzled against her neck, lips pressing to the muslin. "Not until the full moon, you know how curses work."

"But I vant to bite your throat," he murmured, the tips of his flat teeth nibbling against the bandage costume.

"Well," she leaned back enough to force Alistair to rise from her body. Holding out her hand, she produced yet another set of plastic teeth. "You'll need these to do it with."

Slipping in the fangs, Alistair gave 'em a quick clack. Just as he was about to scrape the edge of the cheap plastic against her delectable neck, a wolf man howled from the door.

Not one to run from duty, Alistair spun on his heels and opened to the night to find a young girl dressed in grey standing beside what had to be her father. "Trick or treat!" she said, a smile permanently etched onto her face.

Alistair dug out a candy bar, quickly dropping it into her bucket. "Are you some kind of banshee...princess?" he guessed, noticing the tiara on her head.

"Nope!" she grinned even wider, proud of her secret costume. "Look Dad!"

"Yes, Mar. What else do you say?" the blonde man sighed, no doubt in for a long night.