A tinny scream broke from the flickering screen before me and was answered by a more guttural one beside. I glanced over by the glow of the flatscreen just as Merrill buried her face in her hands.
"Tell me when it's safe to look," she gasped.
The Mistress of Ceremonies patted poor, shivering Merrill's knee and assured her, "Don't worry, Kitten. I will...ooh!" Isabela's attention snapped back to the movie. The scythe wielding maniac swung his weapon of choice hard through the neck of the corrupt mayor, blood splattering against the screen in response. Merrill whimpered at the squishy sounds, but dutifully kept her eyes locked away behind her palms.
Leaning back on the couch, Isabela crossed her legs loosely so the knee butted against mine. Even with only the low light of the old exploitation film I could read on her face that she did it on purpose. Well, two could play at that game. Yanking my wine glass off the table, I took a slow sip and balanced the bottom on her lower thigh. Rather than get a cross reaction, Isabela scooted an inch closer to me.
"Oh come on!" Aveline, perched upon the edge of the only recliner in Isabela's den, shouted at the shoddy movie. "What is she doing?" she exasperated at the requisite heroine screaming her head off and running up the stairs.
"Does the battering ram not approve?" Isabela baited Aveline, her eyes burning into the woman still in her uniform.
"Of you? Never. Of this movie... No one is this idiotic. Who runs higher into a house when there is a means of escape right beside you? It is a wonder this woman made it past the age of five."
"It's a movie, Aveline," I tried to intervene before any potential fight broke out. This was one of Isabela's favorites in a long list of exploitation and gore films, though she didn't seem too perturbed by Aveline's criticism. With one hand wrapped motheringly around Merrill's shoulders, Isabela tipped her beer back until it was perpendicular with the ground.
A snort broke from the critic and she shook her ginger head. "Call. The. Police! There is a phone right beside you! I cannot understand this. Why, in these kinds of movies, do they never think to get in contact with emergency services?"
"Because it'd end the movie faster?" I threw out, wincing as Isabela placed the empty beer bottle on the table.
She swiped at the side of her mouth and pivoted towards Aveline. "What good would the cops do? Whenever one of your kind is on screen they always wind up butchered like a hog and strung up by their intestines. Plus, the brain dead fools never believe there's a killer on the loose until their own head's got a candle shoved up the neck hole to make a Cop O'lantern." Isabela flashed her teeth while grinning wide, "Trick or treat."
Aveline scowled at the thought, but returned to the movie. We fell silent watching the point of view footage of someone running hell bent through trees. "Can I look?" mewled Merrill.
"You're good, Kitten," Isabela said.
As she shed her protective fingers, Merrill smiled, "Oh good. That's really rather pretty and..."
A severed hand came flying from off screen. Isabela quickly clamped her hand over poor Merrill's eyes. "Sorry, forgot about that jump-scare. You okay?"
"Uh huh," Merrill nodded dumbly, once again hiding behind her safety net.
"Why do you come to these if you don't like scary movies?" I asked.
She shuddered, either from my line of questioning or the chainsawing and wood chipping going on on screen. "I like the movies. I just don't like blood, or gore, or screaming, or scares, or monsters, or ghosts."
YOU ARE READING
Dragon Age One Shots
FanfictionI've been adding lots of short stories to Tumblr recently and wanted a chance to share them here for anyone who doesn't have tumblr, or hates reading there. Here come all the Dragon Age one shots!
