entry four

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dear diary—

i wish i knew exactly who i am.

i'm struggling with that so much lately.

why do i think guys are more attractive than girls?
why do i think having sex with a girl is gross?
why am i so twisted and knotted and scared of these thoughts?

my father is a pastor. i know homosexuality is taboo. but why do i feel this way?
why doesn't god take these feelings away if they're so wrong?

i lay in bed last night, tossing and turning, rethinking who i am.

could i be....?

no.

i will not let myself consider that.

—daniel

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