Personal Soldier (Nathan Sykes Fanfic)

Personal Soldier (Nathan Sykes Fanfic) - Ch.22

My phone flashed on as I pressed some buttons. It was 6 am. I sat on the armchair in our hotel room, watching it slowly fill with light as the sun rose into the sky. I had been sitting here for almost 4 hours now. I got barely any sleep last night, any that I did, was filled with horrors. Not even the fact Nathan lay beside me, me in his arms, gave me any comfort. I sighed, knowing I had to get a move on before Nath woke up. I quietly started maneuvering around the room, picking up my belongings and throwing them into my bag. Every now and then Nath would turn over or let out a deep breath and I'd freeze. He was still asleep though, laying there with the blanket pulled up to his waist, his chest rose and fell as he breathed. I struggled everytime to look away from him and his 'perfectness'.

I finished packing my things and it was nearing about half 6. I folded up the letter I'd written for Nathan and left it on the coffee table. I sat for hours trying to write it, crumpled papers were thrown on the ground from previous, failed ones, but I eventually found one I was happy with. I hated what I was doing, hated what I was forced to do now...

I grabbed the car keys and started towards the door. But I stopped and returned to the room, making my way to the bed. I leaned into Nath and kissed him softly on the lips, making sure it wasn't enough to wake him. He smiled in response and I turned away and left. I reached the lobby and found the girl from when we checked in looking tired. She quickly turned on her happiness when I walked up to her. “My, you're up early? ... Weren't you with a young man?” She looked around me, I didn't really appreciate the snooping but answered her all the same. “Uh ... yes, he'll be staying till morning ..... I'm going to pay for us both now though...” She nodded in understanding and took my payment, flashing a smile and telling me to 'have a good day' as I walked to the car park. ..... Yeah I'd be having a great day....

I drove the car out from the hotel car park, entering the quite busy streets, most likely filled with people going to work and school. Getting on with 'normality'. I could see the building fading into the distance from the mirror and I felt like I might not be able to take it. I wanted nothing more then to just turn back around, go back to the room and lay with Nathan, like nothing happened... I knew I couldn't though, I knew that wouldn't do any good, for anyone. It was weird not having him next to me though, truthfully. After having been basically joined to the hip with him for the past week, it was like there was something missing from me and I didn't like the feeling of emptiness.

I was surprised that I didn't have tears spilling over onto my face, I didn't know how I was staying so stable. I felt like I had numbed myself, like I wasn't really there, I was just aware of the fact I was driving, and making my way to Washington. Nothing else swarmed through my head for the journey, no worries, no anger, no fear, no sadness. I'd completely washed all of it away, hiding it well, like I'd learned to do from a young age. The buildings, the houses, and the cars and people, whizzed past me and as I'd expected, no more then half an hour into the journey my phone started buzzing. Messages and phone calls came through one after the other, It drove me crazy. I continued onwards, I couldn't stop...

* * * * * *

8 am. I was still going, almost there. I was close, so close. The city started rolling away, buildings were dispersing, only one seen every now and then. The address was burned into my brain and I knew where I was headed. The sunlight blared down from the blue, cloudless sky, illuminating the green grass and bright flowers from the surrounding fields and gardens. It was beautiful. I wished to just stop everything, forget everything and just lay here. It seemed so simple. It would be just a couple of minutes until I finally ended this, confronted those bastards who were after Nathan. I was alone, but I was strong and I wouldn't quit until he was safe from these guys. Sure, it would've probably been better to call in the letter, get some back up, but I didn't know if they could hear me or see me and that could make them angrier. We didn't need that.