Personal Soldier (Nathan Sykes Fanfic)

Personal Soldier (Nathan Sykes Fanfic) - Ch.13

 “Okay so you've gotta get to the airport by 8 alright?, that gives you about 3 hours. We're giving you another car to leave in, it's round back and take these keys too. When you're in New York there'll be a car waiting for you, you'll find it. Inside we've got maps for you, you know the drill, you stay on the road and don't stop anywhere for more than two nights.” Jay was running me through everything for at least the fifth time now, making sure I didn't forget any little detail. Really I think he was prolonging the goodbyes. I was glad for that. “Every Friday, at 5pm over here you call us, now on the dot Katrina, we don't get a call, we jump to conclusions-” He looked at me briefly to check if I was still listening, then got up from his seat and pulled a box out from a drawer under his desk. “$4000 is what you're getting, you need more, we'll get it to you but it should tide you over for a good while. And also Kat, I know what you're like. You follow the path we've set out on the roads, no back alleys or dirt roads in the middle of nowhere, you got me?” “I got you-” I sighed, reaching over to Jay making sure he stopped and looked at me. “Goodbye Jaybird” He pulled me in to a tight hug and I could hear him sniffle lightly before pulling back. “Don't you dare cry alright? ... any of you” I pointed to the others and gave them a smile. It wasn't fake. It never was around them. I walked over to where the others were on the other side of the desk, Pulling each of them in to me, in a hug. “Now George and Parker, don't go killing each other now, your stupid arguments won't be broken up by me anymore. And don't go so heavy on the drink either. If I'm on the other side of the world I still don't wanna hear your drunken phonecalls” “Oh shut it, little shit” Tom said as he tried to push me away. “And Seev take care of yourself-” I pulled him down to whisper. “-and watch Jay for me, he's our best friend yeah?” He nodded and kissed my forehead.

I pulled my bag up from the ground, stuffing the money Jay'd given me into it and throwing it over my shoulders. I picked up both sets of keys and turned around heading for the door. “And you lot stay here, I'm not going doing this again, eh?” I gave another small smile, and looked over the sad faces in front of me. I sighed before heading out into the corridor, meeting Nathan by the elevator. “Ready?” “No but I don't really have a choice in this, eh?” He didn't really sound angry, more frustrated. He turned to make his way to the elevator before I stopped him by grabbing his wrist. “Hey, hey, don't be like this please.... We're doing this for your safety, yeah? .... It's what's best for you, for us.” He looked up at me. His eyes seemed like they were searching for something. “Us? ... what's best would have been if you had just let me go with someone else .... That's what would have been best for you!”

Now I'd grown to get over the initial hate I had for Nathan when I first met him, heck I could say I liked him. But this 'blaming himself' thing, and trying to look out for me... That annoyed me. I tried not to show any kind of anger when I spoke “Stop... you're doing that again .... how many times do I have to tell you? .... I look after you, you don't worry about me-” I grabbed his chin, forcing him to look at me instead of his feet. “Sorry-” I didn't think I was going to get anymore than that from him right now, I sighed and walked around him to press the elevator call button.

“But why'd you put up such a fight to do this?” He suddenly said, determination was writen on his face and I know what he was looking for in my answer. “I- ... You know why. .... I'm your Prot-” “Bullshit, tell me .... why?” He was coming closer to me and I backed away until I hit the wall behind me. I wasn't scared like I was last time he had me like this .. He wasn't angry now. In fact you could see him trying hard not to smirk. He placed his hands either side of my head on the wall. “I-” I took in and let out a breath before I answered, not even bothering to think before I did. “I couldn't let you go. I wouldn't- ... not ever. I need to be with you or I'll just kill myself with worry.” “So you're admiting it .... you do like me, huh?” That smirk that I used to hate so much finally made an appearance. It was gone within a second though when I didn't answer. I didn't have an answer, not yet, I hadn't made my mind up, if I was falling for him or if I just cared about him as a friend, who I wanted to keep safe.

He pushed closer to me, his hands falling to my waist. His face leaning closer. I knew what he wanted. I lifted my hand to his lips before he came any closer. “Not now” I whispered. He sighed and lifted away from the wall and takinghis place in front of the elevator again. “Not now or not ever” he mumbled looking away and stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets. I grabbed a hold of his shoulders and pulled him into me, wrapping my arms around his neck. “Not now ....” He sighed again but I felt his hands around my waist. The opening doors of the elevator broke us apart and we made our way back upstairs...

* * * * * *

“Stop, stop it” I forced Nathan to stop bouncing his leg, he'd been doing that since we sat down in the airport. “I don't like planes, .... sorry” He mumbled. “You're-” I held back a little chuckle by clearing my throat. “You're afraid of flying?” He looked at me disapprovingly “No I- ...... yeah I am” he huffed. I took his hand and leaned my head against his shoulder. “Don't worry I'll be with you the whole time.” He squeezed my hand and slouched down slightly in his chair, pulling his hood further over his eyes. I shook him gently “No, no, you're not going to sleep, they're gonna call us forward anytime now” “Ugh come on we've been here for like an hour now, let me sleep” Right then the announcement came over the speakers, calling people forward for the New York flight. “Ahah! See, now come on quickly.” I pulled him from his seat. I noticed he looked worried. “You alright?” He came down close to me to whisper. “You sure we're safe ... we're pretty out in the open here” His eyes started darting around before settling on me again. “We aren't safe anywhere Nath...” I put it bluntly, I needed to. He simply nodded and picked up his bag and walked with me to the gate.

* * * * * *

It was a couple hours into the flight by now. Still a ways to go. The agency got us 1st class seats, it was a bit safer. Only two others were with us and they were both asleep by now, a few seats behind us. Nathan had fallen asleep about an hour ago, he truely needed it, after today. I tried but there was so much shit going on in my head to even think of sleeping. I leaned back on my seat slightly, looking at the roof of the plane.

Nathan started stirring beside me, I didn't even take any notice until he jolted upright and screamed. “Nathan. .... Nathan.... calm down ... Nathan” I was trying to get him to look at me but he pushed as far from me as he could, head in his hand. “Could you please keep it down here, what's happened?” There was a less than pleased flight attendent looking at me. “I'm sorry ... Must of had a nightmare ...” I gestured to Nath. She huffed and walked away shaking her head. Luckily he hadn't woken the other passengers. “Nathan-” I whispered. I could hear him crying and tried to pull his hands away from his face. “Nathan ... what is it? ... let me see you please”

He looked up at me finally, cheeks wet from the tears and he was visably shaking. He fell back onto his chair again, closing his eyes, trying to stop crying. “I could see him .... I held him .... His blood .... on my hands .... I did this ....” I grabbed his face roughly, making sure he was paying attention to me. He'd seen his father in his dreams ... his nightmares. “Don't Nathan .... You couldn't have made a difference... know that ...” “No ... I-I could have ...” He sobbed. “My dad w-would never talk ... I-I knew that. If I just gave myself .... t-they'd let him go .... I-I tell them what they needed ....” The tears kept rolling down his face. “No Nath .... what would that ever achieve? .... You giving up information wouldn't help .... they're vicious .... they probably would of killed you both then” “No, NO ... you don't know that-” His voice was growing louder as he spoke. “If I didn't just run away from this he could still be alive.” “But you wouldn't” I said firmly. He closed his eyes again. I pulled him in and rested my chin on his head, kissing it and rocking him lightly. I had to calm him .... I never thought he'd blame himself for this.

His body shook with every sob and whimper he let out. It took him a while before he finally drifted off again. I couldn't let go off him even then. Hoping I could stop the nightmares, the horrors of today flooding back to him. And I guessed it worked, he slept through the night. He looked peaceful now. A mask, covering up the absolute hell that was in his mind...