Criminal Heroes ~ NCT Fanfic

Part 20 - I Deserve It

pov Lilith

And there he stands, looking terrified at me.

The untouchable Johnny is scared of me.

Wow.... 

That's logical.

Anyway, he is shaking like a leaf and i am just staring at him, in my eyes burning a fire of anger.

"And, are you still going to ignore me? You don't think i would notice that you act like i am just a ghost that walks around the house.", i say angry.

pov Johnny

I honestly don't know how i need to react.

I am just staring at a furious woman.

She still looks beautiful when she is angry and i can't stand it.

People shouldn't look beautiful when they are going to throw something at you.

"Are you going to keep your act together, seriously?! Aren't you even a little ashamed that you are just acting like a child?!", she yells at me.

The boys can probably hear it, but i know i can't stop her. When i will try, she is only going to be angrier then she now already is.

"I am sorry okay.... It wasn't on purpose.....", i react.

"It wasn't on purpose?! Yeah right, you accidently avoid me, of course. Now i understand it completely! Just stop with your excuses!", she still yells.

"Can you please stop yelling at me! I'm sorry okay! I'm sorry that i don't want to be around you right now!", i yell back.

Honestly, i absolutely didn't want to say that to her. 

I just said it in before i could think about how rude that comment was.

I don't know why i said it, but i absolutely regret it. I am normally not that disrespectful towards people, but i said it without really thinking about it.

Suddenly, she takes a knife from the kitchen table and throws it towards me. 

I bend and the knife flies just a few inches past my head and hits the kitchen wall, just next to the fridge. 

I look at the ground and there lie a few pieces of my own hair, which have been cut off by the ten inches long knife. 

I pick the strands up and i let my fingers softly touch them, trying to convince myself that this isn't really my hair.

pov Lilith

I just can't explain how startled i am by my own actions.

I have just cut of two inches of Johnny's hair by throwing a knife towards his face.

I don't want to think about everything that could go wrong just now. I see how he is just looking at the strands of his own hair and now i feel guilty.

I am still mad, but i am also regretting my stupid, dangerous action.

"I....... i....... i am so sorry!", i say, walking closer towards him.

"No, no.... It's okay..... I deserved it.... I really deserved it....", he says, trying to convince himself.

"No, you don't deserve it.... Even when you finally told me that you don't want to be around me. I only wanted that you said it a little earlier, so i wouldn't be angry this entire week. But it's okay, everything is okay....", i whisper, beginning to feel sad.

"No, that's not what i meant! I.... I...."

pov Johnny

but she isn't listening anymore. 

She takes her phone out of her pocket, puts her earbuds in and walks out of the kitchen, without saying a word.

And there i stand, staring at the empty doorway.

The only thing i want to do right now is crying.

I get startled when suddenly Taeil comes into the kitchen with a buch of dirty plates in his hands.

He sees that i'm crying.

"Hey buddy, are you okay? What's wrong?", he asks.

I stand there.

I just stand there.

He places the plates on the kitchen island and he walks closer towards me. I avoid his eyes and walk past him. I take the plates with me and bring them closer to the dishwasher.

I begin to put them in, trying to keep a hold of myself.

Suddenly, Taeil places his hand on my back.

"Hey, why aren't you saying anything?", he asks.

And that's the moment that i feel myself exploding.

I snap.

I take one of the plates from the stack and throw it against one of the walls on the other side of the room.

After the plate hit the wall, it breaks into pieces and falls on the ground.

I still feel all my frustrations burn in my heart, so i throw another plate towards the same wall, but this time, i yell.

"Fucking idiot! Bastard! Stupid loser you are! God fucking dammit!", i scream towards the walls, so everyone can hear it.

I take on of the glasses from the kitchen island and i turn the water on, so i could fill it.

I don't notice with how much power i hold the glass, but suddenly, i feel pain overwhelming me.

It feels like someone stabbed me and when i look down, i see pieces of broken glass all over my hand and the blood is just streaming falling on the floor.

Taeil looks startled at me.

"Dude? Why are you acting so crazy?! Look what you did to yourself! Look what you did to the kitchen!", he yells.

I angrily throw the pieces of glass on the table.

"I deserve it.... I deserve it all...", i mumble.

Just before Taeil could say another word, i run out of the kitchen, going upstairs.

When i come into my room, i close the door with a loud smash, in before i slump through my legs and let all my frustration stream out, together with the rest of my tears....

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Hello everyone!
I finally posted a new chapter and i know it's not a happy chapter, but i hope you still enjoyed reading it! 

Much Love, The Writerslife