Lesbian Dancing After The Show: An Improviser's Non Improvised Life

A Valentine's Marriage

In a small courthouse in Seattle on Valentine's Day 1991, Hans and I finally did it.

Three years before in Chicago, I was ready to go on my own adventure. I was offered a job at a comic book distributor working across the bridge from San Francisco.

I headed out to San Francisco and they wined and dined me. I stayed in a hotel in that beautiful city. The idea of living there was too much. In 1989 it was everything that I wanted. A beautiful city with a vibrant Theatre scene, and a punk rock scene kicking in. A hippy culture still very prevalent. It was everything I wanted.

I still loved Hans. It just didn't seem to be moving anywhere over the years we were together. I said yes to the offer. I was ready to head out again on a new adventure. They gave me $1,200 dollars in advance for the move. In 1989, I was going to drive my car, filled with my pathetic belongings, to San Francisco.

I get home from that trip and I sit Hans down and tell him that I was going to move to San Francisco. His face went flush and pale. I said to him: You know, I can do this for a year and if it doesn't work out...

He looked at me very sad, while also very angry at the man who got me this offer. He said to me: You won't be coming back. I felt horrible.

So for a few weeks I was getting everything together. I spent about 400 dollars of the $1,200 just getting the car I had in order to go across country...saving away more money to find a place to live in The Bay Area.

My car was completely packed to leave a week before I had to travel. Hans and I were in bed. I was telling him how much I was going to miss him.

Hans: Shaun? Will you marry me?

Me: What?

Hans: Will you marry me?

Me: I DID NOT DO ALL OF THIS TO ASK YOU TO MARRY ME! Of Course I will marry you, goddamnit. FUCK! Now I have to unpack the car! SHIT! I spent four hundred dollars I got to give back. Oh man! What the hell! Of course I will marry you, you dumbass!

Hans couldn't stop laughing. We got of bed and went to have Sushi. We didn't eat much. We had to return $1,200 dollars to the job that I was about to renege on...and piss off every comic book store distributor in both the West and Midwest.

All for love.

That fall during the World Series Game, the Earthquake happened in the Bay Area and the Bridge collapsed killing a lot of people. The bridge I would have been commuting back and forth from.

My mother called Hans two days after the earthquake and Thanked him for saving me.

Once we announced we were engaged, we had every reason to postpone the wedding. We were either broke, doing a show or a combo of both. By the time we got to Seattle and were living in the former Whore House Logging place with our Ex Heroin Addict Managers waxing of THEIR marriage...I finally said to Hans:

You need to marry me. I don't care where. Put a bottle cap on my finger and lets get the damn tax write off.

We figured on what day. Halloween was bantered about but no one in my family was having that. It was a day I personally needed to remember. Valentine's Day. That was funny to me. The cheesiest day to represent love.

We got the blood test and the date set at The Seattle Courthouse. Hans' family informed us that they were not coming, as it seems his brother's Master Degree Graduation was more important than our marriage.

My mother was not particularly pleased either. My mother thought no one was good enough for me, especially after The Man Twenty Years My Senior. I called her on my wedding day to tell her I was getting married. She said to me on my wedding day (and I could almost see her under the kitchen counters fixing them again) You know how I feel, but you have a nice day today.

Actually, she never told me how she felt about Hans until that moment. I just found out. I just shrugged and went icy cold. I guess I will...

None of our immediate family was there for our wedding. None, except for our theatre family.

A member of UTC Seattle was my maid of honor. Hans' and my friend Al came in from Chicago and was his best man. Members of UTC and other friends came out with us to the pier and celebrated with us. It was an unexpectedly warm day for February 14th 1991. Sunny and beautiful for the mid of winter. The Justice of the Peace did a non-denominational speech for us and gave us the paper. I wore a blue dress with a penny in my shoe. Hans wore a nice suit.

It was a good day.

Twenty years later we went back to Seattle for The Seattle Improv Festival that fell during our anniversary. We decided to renew our vows.

In the Seattle Courthouse, my entire immediate family was there. My sister was my matron of honor. My nephews Nick and Nathan (who wore born after our marriage) were Hans' "Men of Honor." My brother-in-law took video of the event.

It was a windy, rainy, nasty day outside.

It was an even better day than the first.

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