Lesbian Dancing After The Show: An Improviser's Non Improvised Life

Dear AirBnB

I used AirBnB when I stayed in San Francisco for the opening of the Indy Movie I'm in, "Heterosexual Jill." Know what drew me to their site? Its tagline: TRAVEL LIKE A HUMAN.

Great place we found. Amazing Neighbors. Good online service overall. I wanted to stay in a place that felt like I was in my own home for a few days. Not a hotel. Not a hostel. Not a campground.

I used the service because both Hans and I are now "Mature and Frugal" not "Young and Broke": willing to pay a reasonable price to feel we are in a home and not in a flea bitten hotel or hostel full of drunk kids from France.

Worked out great. We even went to an even nicer AirBnB rental where the director and producer of the movie were staying. Had a few nice glasses of wine. Some delicious food, and a gorgeous view of San Francisco. I then drove the three minutes to Harvey's to do five minutes of standup and ran into Cleve Jones (an AIDS and LGBT rights activist I met when I was in "Milk" playing Gwenn Craig), went back to the director's apartment, stayed up for a relatively decent time and drove back to our place.

Woke up the next day to find out that DOMA and Prop 8 no longer existed. Had our premiere that day through all of that joy.

Then we went to the very lovely (and crowded) lesbian bar The Lexington Club for the after party. Stayed a bit with a friend from SF who came out to see us...and we got in our car relatively early and went back to the apartment we rented.

That morning we got in the car (with all the found furniture we got throughout the trip along with my new acoustic guitar) and we drove down Highway 1 back to Los Angeles. Without ever turning out off the highway, I took a ton of pictures from the car.

That was our Mature Adventure. So mature, we took time out to go to Oakland, so Hans could train the person who was taking over for him while he was on vacation.

After more than a decade....I finally met his boss and saw his Oakland office. He got *paid for that day.*

ADVENTURE! Mature Adventure. Someone on the road (while eating) asked us why we did not do the hour plane ride to San Francisco. Both of us said: We have both been down Highway 1, but not together.

ADVENTURE! MATURE COUPLE ADVENTURE. A one-time affair, every once in a while. We like it that way.

Apparently that is not enough for AirBnB.

I got this oh so lovely bulk email in my inbox from AirBnB this Independence Day.

Once upon a time, you knew what summer vacation meant: freedom, discovery, exploration, and joy. It meant endless days of adventure and long nights laughing with friends.

What the hell happened to you?

Right. What the hell happened to me. What the hell is the deal with my "Mature Adventures?"

Here is my open letter response to AirBnB's question.

Dear AirBnB:

I FUCKING GOT OLD THAT IS WHAT HAPPENED.

Here is the thing, AirBnB. I spent long nights laughing with my friends and endless days of traveling and adventure. The older you get the less you want to stay up and see the sun come up. You wish to sleep and hear your alarm clock go off and see the sun after eight hours of FUCKING SLEEP.

I have toured on buses, cramped vans and long airplane rides where it would have been more comfortable sleeping in the bulkhead...to really cool places around this country and some places around the world. It was (and even now, but sparingly) fun as fuck.