Lesbian Dancing After The Show: An Improviser's Non Improvised Life

To Actors With 9-5 Jobs, I Salute You.

I would give my all to get a phone call from Mel Brooks about a synopsis treatment of a movie Hans and I wrote that tweaks a genre Brooks has not yet done: Film Noir.

The Veronica Lake-type female character who through most of the movie keeps running into things and mistaking people for others because she can't see out of one eye? The idea of that wonderful Mel Brooks voice yelling into the phone: I LOVE IT! That alone would be worth it.

He would tell Hans and I that he would like to buy and make it. Maybe hire us as writers. Maybe have me play a parody of a maid in that Film Noir Style.

We are tickled silly about this imaginary film offer, and take it.

Don't think Hans is going to leave his job at Kaiser for it. Buying a treatment from us to make him leave his Day Job would pretty much entail everyone magically asking us for movie treatments or at least a fee that would ensure Hans' and my security for the rest of our lives.

Mel Brooks called us. It's a dream come true. No. Not leaving the day job until Mel and everyone else constantly calls back.

If Spike Lee's* casting director called me and said: Hey Shaun, we heard about you doing improv comedy and saw some of your YouTube Videos. We would like you to come in and audition...

The first thing out of my mouth would be: Hey. Who is this and why are you fucking with me?

After the initial shock (and embarrassment) of realizing this is Lee's Casting Director, I would be flying out for the audition. If by some freak of nature, I landed the role and had five days on set doing a film with him...there is no way in hell I'm going to say to Hans: This is going to make me! Let's move to New York without any prospect of a day job and see what happens!

That is not going to happen. Here is the thing: It wouldn't happen if both Hans and I were in our twenties and thirties (respectively) either.

We have this thing. This thing called eating and paying bills.

Five days on a set of anywhere is not going to secure you a living. Even if those five days netted me a million dollars and I never worked on a set again in film? We don't wish to take that chance.

Life is exactly like the old Mickey Mouse Club on Wednesday: Anything can happen. And a million dollars is not going to secure the idea of anything happening that just happens to be bad.

That is from me growing up in not the richest environment a kid could have.

I read an article I loved with all of my heart called "How To Get Hired By Woody Allen: Newcomer Annie McNamara On Landing Her First Film Role in Blue Jasmine."

It made me smile wide on the down to earth and logical sense from an actor who in my mind (and I'm sure hers), is a veteran performer. (Yeah. You have been kicking the stages for years doing theatre. One notable film appearance and you are considered a Newcomer as an actor. Sure makes all that theatre work seem like it just leads up to being called a Newcomer when you perform in a film.)

Ms. McNamara works for a financial services company. One of her duties (according to this article) was having to fetch a copy of "Despicable Me" for her boss' kid.

Ah...Day Jobs at high end companies. Yeah. It is vitally important to keep the finances of clients in check when your employee is out buying copies of "Despicable Me" for the lead financer's kid.

I get it. I had that job too for a Financial Litigation Company.

Here is what makes Annie one hell of a smart person and actor in regards to getting that phone call from Allen's Casting Director: