Behind The Scenes [BTS X Reader]

Chapter 13: Through Times Of Sickness [J.JK]

***

"I can't hold onto you.

I can't give up on you.

I want the you who makes eye contact with me-

-I want the you who wants me again."

-BTS [Autumn Leaves]

***

Jungkook tossed and turned in his bed for the millionth time that night.

His mind was flashing back to his encounter with you earlier. He let himself linger on the sound of your voice, the look on your face. You.

Jungkook glared at you. "Can't you take a hint?" He growled. That I don't want to see you right now? That I'm trying so hard to stop wanting to see you?

He eyed the familiar tray of food. Involuntarily, a warm feeling bubbled in his chest. He felt frustrated with himself.

"Why are you here?" Why do you always appear when I'm thinking of you?

"T-This is from Jin-Oppa-" Of course it was. Why would you go through the trouble if you didn't even want to talk to him?

"Leave it." I can't stand seeing you anymore. I want to miss you.

"O-Okay. Remember to sleep earl-" Why do you even care?

"Oh my god, just leave." Please, don't make this harder for me. Harder than it already is.

"Why... Why are you acting like this?" You muttered. Because I don't want to get hurt any more than this.

"I've been working harder just so you will know I can do my job-" You raised your voice slightly. I know, noona, I know. I like that part of you too.

"Why do you act like you hate me?" I don't. But I have to because otherwise I'll end up falling harder.

"Because I do." I do know that you work hard. I do know that we need you. That I, need you.

"What?" I want you. I need you.

"I hate you, [Y/N]-ssi." It's not you who I hate, I hate that I can't love you.

"I..."

"You're so two-faced! If talking to me is killing you, then don't." He almost shouted. If you continued doing this, he'd never be able to erase you. So, to save himself, he'll drive you far away. You didn't like him, anyway. It should have been easy enough.

Then... why did the words feel so wrong coming from his mouth?

Then... Why did you look so hurt?

"That-"

"I don't get how the hyungs don't see this. I don't get how they're all still so nice to you. How they like you-" I do. I get it, more than I want to.

His eyes widened when he saw your tears- Why were you crying? Why were you so hurt? Deep inside, he knew that he hurt you. That it was him who was hurting you.

"You don't get to say this to me." I don't. You pushed him. It wasn't hard, but it stung. Suddenly, the parts of him that you touched burned. His heart ached, knowing full well he had crossed the line.

"Noona-"

His hand reached out to the empty spot where you were.

It grasped nothing at all.

~*~

Jimin practically slammed him into the wall after that. Taehyung watched, clutching his fist, your crying face flashing in his mind. Jin tried to stop him, even though inside he wanted to smack the maknae for hurting you just as much as Jimin did.