DANGEROUS ARRANGEMENTS

CHARISMA; THE UNMERITED FAVOR OF GOD

One of the nurses continued to meddle with the umbilical cord, which was still connecting me to her.

All I could do was lock my eyes and my heart on my baby.

That instance was so surreal and full of emotions, that I simply fail to put them into words right now.

As the staff surrounding me was cleaning me up, the doctor handed the baby to a nurse behind him who proceeded to wipe her down and wrap her in a blanket.

The nurse then presented her to my mother saying, "Here you go, Grandma"

My mother opened her arms to receiver her, and held her close to her face as she smiled at her and silently wept.

I can't imagine what all she was thinking.

All I do know is that my mother focused her sole affections on her, speaking softly and sweetly saying, "Hi baby. I am so sorry, I didn't know."

I watched on as my mom continued to talk with the baby by saying,

"I will name you Charisma."

In her free time, my mother often enjoyed studying the literal Greek and Hebrew meanings of biblical words. She thought to name the baby Charisma because in Greek, the word Charis or Charisma translates to English as "grace", which is defined as; the unmerited favor from God.

I then overheard her tell the baby that it was by the grace of God alone that she made it safely into the world. And as I lay there recovering, I continued to observe my mother adore my child, her first grandchild.

Her tears wouldn't cease, but she didn't let that interrupt her from admiring Baby Charisma.

Then a nurse came in and told my mother that they'll have to take the baby up to the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) for further observation considering there was no prenatal care involved during my pregnancy.

She also went on to say that the doctor was going to be in shortly, and that he needed to talk with her.

My mother said okay, reluctantly handing the baby to the nurse but not before she whispered to Charisma that she would see her soon, ever so gently kissing her on the forehead as the nurse carried her out of the room.

The doctor then arrived at my room and began to read me the riot act.

He sternly said that there were many options available to me and many agencies that would've helped me during my pregnancy to get the care that I needed to deliver a healthy baby. He highlighted my irresponsibility and said that to not see a doctor or seek care during my pregnancy was simply foolish of me.

I listened as the doctor went on scolding me, daring not to say anything back as I hung my head low, nodding in agreement with him. He then wrapped up the conversation by saying that she was going to be in the NICU for the next 48 hours for further observation. Before he left, he assured us that as far as he could tell, she was a healthy baby and also very lucky.

Charisma was born at 9:11 p.m., a befitting time indeed.

My mother didn't speak much to me, but she did say that she would be back in a little bit and suggested that I try to get some rest. She then left the room and the nurses and ancillary staff continued to clean me up further, as they simultaneously informed me about my post-care instructions. They were so kind and gracious to me, telling me that I did so well during labor and that the baby was beautiful.