DANGEROUS ARRANGEMENTS

SIXTEEN AND PREGNANT

Meanwhile, my time at Christian High School ended abruptly when my brother graduated and his schedule for college no longer allowed for him to take me back and forth from Long Island to Staten Island.

Every temporary solution was exhausted, as my parents did their best to continue to keep me going to school there.

Eventually, it was with much sadness that I said my goodbyes to the many friends I had made at CHS, returning to Elmont Memorial High School for the remainder of my sophomore year.

And although I was happy to be reunited with some of my pals from elementary school like Diana, the twins, Mia / Pia and Nicole, I didn't otherwise fully embrace my return to Elmont to be back amongst the Malayalee dominated cliques I failed to fit in with.

Much of the reservations I felt were directly related to the unpleasant feelings that emerged from constantly comparing my life to that of other Malayalee girls around me.

Their parents appeared less strict than mine, and at least from the outside, they looked as though they were much happier than me. 

Reflecting on it now however, it's possible they could've been thinking the very same thing about me, and going through similar circumstances within their own families.

Most people were aware that I left High School in Elmont because of some kind of trouble that I got into, but nobody really said anything, at least not to my face.

And as I started to get reacclimated to Elmont Memorial again, this time around, I did my best to be less cliquey and proactively interact with more of the other cultures around me.

But, my time and exposure were limited by my father and his irrational policies of no hanging out after school, and no friends allowed over to the house that weren't Malayalee.

Soon after I re-entered high school at Elmont, I reconnected with a male friend of mine whom I had known since early elementary school.

He and I were always relatively friendly throughout the years and upon my return to school, I was greeted by him with kindness and enthusiasm.

Although he and I had changed much since we last saw each other over a year and a half ago, we sort of picked up where we left off.

We regularly walked to classes together and had our lockers situated practically next to each other. We found ourselves confiding in one another about our lives at home and our likes and dislikes. 

That friendship soon evolved into a romantic relationship, one that was secret from our families, but not from our friends and fellow classmates at school.

This was the first romantic relationship I had ever had.

Up until then, I had never kissed anyone or ever held anyone's hand, it was special to me. Having him in my life helped me cope with my painful frustrations at home and somehow, he just made everything more bearable.