DANGEROUS ARRANGEMENTS

MEA CULPA

We survived the holidays with minimal strife and my father's surprise retirement party was fast approaching.

All of us were expected to pull together and show face to the many guests that were going to be in attendance.

I continued to hemorrhage from being married to an abusive, alcoholic man but also knew I had to keep on placing my hopes in better days ahead for the sake of my three young children.

Their innocence gave me the resolve I needed to sustain the pain I felt, and also enabled me to not fully feel the impact of my combative environment.

It also didn't go without notice that the days and the weeks prior to the party were consumed by Sherin doing her best to make certain we were cognizant of the fact that she was spending the majority of her time by my father's side.

During the day while her, Peter, my mother, my husband and my children were all at home, I was told that she would remain out of sight and upstairs in her room.

To pass the time, she would paint her nails, watch TV and make numerous superficial phone calls to my father at his place of work and to her aunts Tara and Stacie.

Initially, I considered her affections towards my father as silly and harmless, believing that perhaps her unnatural leanings towards him was all a farce and enacted to get me jealous because she knew that my relationship with my father was rocky.

But I soon exhausted those thoughts and then went on to suppose that she may have found him more approachable than my mother.

That's not to say that my mother lacked in affections, but she was considered more poised and known to be a graceful and quiet personality. She was also a strategic talker, careful with her words and she never dabbled with anything in excess.

She didn't watch television or go to the movies and spent her free time reading her Bible and listening to audio tapes of authors and Bible teachers such as Derek Prince, and Bishop TD Jakes.

You also wouldn't find her on the phone gossiping about anyone.

She mostly concentrated her efforts on getting groceries, preparing meals for her family, and up-keeping her house. And when she wasn't doing that, she was on her knees seeking the Lord for herself, her family and her friends.

This is what her life consisted of day in, and day out.

Her faith dictated and upheld every area of her life, enabling her to see the good in everyone, whether they deserved it or not.

Perhaps Sherin found her to be more vanilla than my father, I thought.

And looking back at it now, I don't believe there was much that could've been done to avoid the head-on collision we were about to face as a family.

I think if anything could have been done to prevent it, it would have helped if my parents worked the same shift instead of opposing ones.

Usually within a half hour of my mother leaving for her job, my father would also leave from his job to head home. They would end up not seeing each other throughout the week and only have the short weekends to reconnect.

But now when my father arrived home from work, he was met by an overzealous Sherin.

He would then spend the remainder of his evening watching television and having dinner with Peter and Sherin, occasionally indulging his grandchildren, my children.