Crazily Intoxicated

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Ian Reagan

I push past people to see what's going on in the living room. "Move!" I scream. The freshmen scatter. I look up. Dove is standing on the kitchen table, her dress riding up above her waist and a lamp shade on her head. Yes. A lamp shade. There are way over ten cans on the table and she's holding one in each hand. Scott is handing her more and more. I walk up to the table. Dove looks down at me.

"Hi. Ian." She slurs.

"Get down. Time for bed." I said. She rolls her eyes and stumbles. She trips and falls off of the table. I catch her. She smells of sweat and cheap beer. She smiles at me.

"You're pretty." She said, poking my cheeks. I laugh and push past everyone. "No. Not pretty. You're beautiful." I shake my head.

"You've drank to much." I said. She glares at me.

"Am I pretty?" She pouts.

"Yes." I admit, walking up the stairs, slowly.

"So why don't you ask me out." Uhh......

"I don't know. But it's time to go to sleep." I push her door open and put her on her bed. She sits up.

"NO. DON'T LEAVE ME!" She whines, her hands reaching out. I sigh and open the door, shutting it behind me. I walk down the stairs. People are sucking face in the hallway. Some are passed out. I see Dove's

friend passed out in front of the bathroom, people walking over and around her. I dragged her out of the way. I start to walk down the stairs but someone jumps onto my back, wrapping there sweaty arms around me. "I SAID DON'T LEAVE ME!" Dove screams into my ear.

"ALRIGHT!" I press my hands to my ear, then put them on her thigh behind me to keep her steady. "EVERYONE OUT, OUR PARENTS ARE COMING!" I lie. I've never seen this many people run for their lives. Truth be told, they weren't coming back till Sunday night. It's Friday. Dove had her hand on my arms.

"You have muscles." She said quietly. "How?"

"I... uh... work out." By lifting chips. Hey!

"That's nice. We should do that sometime." I like drunk Dove, she's insane, and then one of the calmest people you'll ever see. Riding you. That's gross. So is what you wish you could do to her. Even grosser. I pushed Dove's door open. I put her back on the bed and went out quickly, pulling her friend up as well. brought her into the room and lay her on the couch in Dove's room. "Hi September!" Dove calls, oblivious to the fact she was passed out. September groaned. I walked back over to Dove.

"Do you want pajamas?" I asked. She nodded, pointing to her desk where there were sweats and a tank top. I bring them to her. She stands up and puts her back to me.

"Unzip?" I put my hand up and it's slightly shaking. I put my fingers around the tiny zipper and pull. It slides down till her waist and I pull my hand back, then face away. "I'm done." I turn back around. Can someone look so beautiful in such casual clothing? Apparently so. Wait, no. STOP THAT! Dove is staring at me.

"What?" I sit on her bed, landing on my hands to get them to stop shaking. She walks over to her bed and sits next to me.

"You're so pretty." She whispers. "And you have big boobs." She smashes her hand against my chest. Okay... so I'm a girl now? "If I were a lesbian... totally my choice."

"Well, you see, I'm a guy."

"You have no proof." She said.

"I have no boobs. And I have a dick." I defended.

"No. Way."

"IT'S IN BETWEEN MY LEGS."

"SERIOUSLY? SHOW!" She screamed. I stood up, grabbing my zipper.

"YOU'RE GOOD!" I said, sitting back down.

"What can I say? The closest thing to action I've had is watching The Avengers, but you are a whole other story." She said. I blushed, turning my head away. "I saw it. The blush." She says. She stands up and walks around her bed and goes to the top, crawling into it. I stand up and started to walk to the door. "Where are you going?" She asked.

"My room..." I said slowly.

"Don't leave me. I have a big bed. But I don't want to be alone." She begs, her voice pleading. I nod slowly.

"I'm just gonna put my pajamas on." I promise, leaving the room. I quickly pull on lounge pants and toss everything else into my hamper. I walk slowly back to her room and push the door open. She hasn't moved. "See?" She nods and pats the bed next to her. I pull I the blanket up and sit down, the soft material falling from my grasps. She looks at me and smiles, sliding down into her pillows. I laugh and snatch one, putting my head down. I feel the bed shimmy and her head is next to mine. She shuts her eyes.

"Goodnight, beautiful." She whispers.

"Goodnight, crazily intoxicated person."

~~~~~~~~~~

Dove: *silence*

Ian: Anything you'd like to say?

Dove: Blue is a really pretty color.

Ian: Yeah... But you find me attractive don't you

Dove: I called you a girl.

Ian: But you said if you were a lesbian I would be your first choice. And you called me pretty AND beautiful.

Dove: But I.... YOU HAVE BOOBS!

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