the devil wears leather

Christmas Sexy Time

My evil wicked cousin Emily was instructed to stay at my side. I glared at my parents and went into the kitchen to greet my grandma. My grandfather had passed away when I was really young, and I've never met my father's parents, they didn't like the combined house or children growing up together, especially when we wanted to do deh sexy time. Emily plucked up a piece of ham and I slapped her hand away. She frowned at me and finished the ham. I hugged my grandma, giving her a kiss. I left the kitchen and I heard Emily giggle behind me, then Ian give a short laugh. I clenched my fist and someone grabbed it, unraveled my fingers, and put our hands together. Ian squeezed my hand and I relaxed. Emily stared at our hands. "You two are dating?" She screamed loudly. Fuck you Emily. Both families looked at us. Then we were surrounded.

"How long?"

"When?"

"You owe me fifty, Meg!"

"Damn, I wanted him!"

"Damn, I wanted her!"

"I knew it!"

"Adorable!"

"OH DEAR JEBUS, SAV AND SAM, YOU'LL BE GRANDMOTHERS!"

"I'M NOT PREGNANT!" I screamed, looking in the general direction of the voice. The room silenced. I opened my mouth and Ian beat me.

"Three weeks, three weeks ago, yeah Meg, to bad, she's mine, good for you, and thanks." I glanced up at him. He lies so well. Don't think about that. Well it's true. Shut up. Welllll... Shut up! Everyone stared at us, our parents the longest. I smiled and pushed through everyone. Ian's dad grabbed Ian's jacket and pulled him back. I was pulled along, refusing to let go of Ian.

"Living room. Now." We followed him and sat on the couch. I let go of Ian's hands to run off the sweat. Ian's dad pulled the screen from the kitchen to the living room shut and stared at us. "Tell me what's going on." I sighed.

"I'm giving him a week to prove that I should forgive him and go on a date. And then when Emily was getting all flirty with this," I smack Ian's chest, "and I got mad so he grabbed my hand and held it and Emily screamed you guys are dating at the top of her lungs and.... that happened. Oh.. he lied." Ian looks at me, his mouth wide open.

"WELL!" He shouts, crossing his arms. "I'm offended."

"Good for you, pretty boy." His glare turned into a smile, him pushing his neck down and making it ripple so he had twenty necks.

"Daddy, she called me pretty." He said in a high pitched voice. I roll my eyes and stand, hearing my mother call my name.

"Gotta go help." I pushed the door opened and walked to the kitchen. My mother was washing her hands.

"Wash your hands, round up people for dinner." I nodded and washed my hands. I ran up the stairs and opened doors. Lilly, Naveah, Anthony, Emily, Rachael, and Robert were playing with the babies.

"Dinner." I shut the door and opened the others, most being vacant. I opened my brothers room and froze. Ian's parents were kissing patiently. I couldn't move away. Two 80 year olds got more action then I did. "Dinner." I said quickly and slammed the door. I bumped into Ian who was behind me. He smirked and walked towards me. I walked backwards. My back hit the wall and he smiled down at me, locks of his black hair falling in his eyes. "Umm... dinner... down... the... stairs..." I squeaked out. He leaned down closer.

"You know... I'd hate to be left out. We should follow the crowd." He said. What? HE WANTS TO MAKE OUT DUMB ASS! Uh... what do I do? Beats me! His head  started to come closer, our noses touching. We jumped apart when we heard shrill laughter. If this is Emily I swear...