The Good. The Bad. The Girl.

Sixteen: Song Cry

P.O.V Xavier

"They say a man ain't supposed to cry, so imma let this song cry. Imma let my soul cry through these words..."

I listen to one of my favorite songs with my head set on, eyes closed. No one knew I liked this song so much because I kept it a secret. It was a private thing between Jordan and I. Even though she's gone.

I didn't really cry after she died. I had spent so much time crying about her cheating on me and trying to make it work that I was almost all out of tears at her funeral.

She was a bitch.

But she was my bitch.

I start feeling a burning behind my eyes as tears threaten to take over my them. Because I refuse to let them have control, I tear off the head phones and fling my phone across the room.

I sit up and rub my hands over my face and let out a growl/groan. I hated feeling this way.

I grab the keys to my 'stang and am down the stairs and out the door In a matter of seconds. I open the garage, start the car and head out down the drive.

I roll down the windows and turn on whatever cd happens to be on the CD player.

'The Drug in Me is You' by Falling in Reverse begins to play. The song only makes me switch gears like my life depended on it.

Faster and faster I drive until everything I pass blurs by and is barely visible. Unfortunately, my mind was crystal clear in its thinking.

I shift down as I round the corner.
I take it slow as I enter the sleazy side of town.

I was driving along "Entertainment Alley" as many locals liked to call it. True to its name, girls stood along the street. Some standing outside the doors of clubs, others in the entrance of random alleys. The street was full of entertaining night life. A couple brawls could be seen along the way, and I was pretty sure I saw a drug deal going down, but eh. What did I care?

I pull up to a bar, not really feeling the club vibe, and park behind it. Normally, I come to these places with my friends cause they all drive shitty cars. But tonight, I lock the 'stang and think 'Fuck it." When I was in this mood, I just didn't give a fuck. I think I'll call it my "Fuck it" mood.

I pocket my keys and head in. To my surprise, the bar wasn't as dead as I had hoped it'd be. Gotta hand it to the owner of The Wild Goose-Chase Bar. He was makin' that money.

A small time band was playing some alternative rock songs and there were a few people dancing along. Most were at tables or the bar.

I make my way to the people at the bar, sit on a stool, and the tender notices me and walks over.

"What can I get ya?" She leans on the counter, her cleavage almost spilling out of the top of her tight, low-necked, t-shirt.

"Something strong and good." I pretend not to notice her boobs. Once they see you noticing, then the see you as every other score on they're card. If you start out not interested, and then show interest after a couple drinks, you can blame your one night of fun on the drinks and not you're interest in the girl. There for, you score and they lose.

"I got just the thing." My disinterest doesn't throw off her game as she grabs a glass and gives me a shot if something.

I throw it back and set the glass on the bar.

"And?" She half smirks at me and leans on the bar.

I look at her, "It'll do." Then hand her my glass.

Still unfazed, she fills it up and I down another one. It's only then that I realize she never even asked for my ID. Must be my 5 O'clock shadow.

The night goes on as I continue to take shots, ignoring everyone but the bar tender. I already knew she was gunna come home with me. I could tell by the way she kept coming over to me when ever she was free so that we could talk. She always made sure I had a shot when I needed it too.

2 in the morning comes around and I still got a buzz going as she begins to close up.

"You got a car?" She walks with me out the door and locks it behind her.

I gesture to the nicest/only car in the lot. "Ta da."

"Keys?" I hand them to her without a second thought, then jump in the passenger seat.

She starts it up and then we fly out of there.

"So, where am I going?" She gives me a steamy look

"I was hoping you'd tell me." I give her a lazy smile.

She smiles back then shifts into a higher gear and we're off.

We reach her apartment in no time. We barely get through the door before our cloths start coming off. It felt like a race of who could touch who first and who would take control first. It doesn't take long before I push her onto a shag rug on the floor of her living room and begin kissing her from the neck down. Before she knows it, she's not fighting to be in control anymore, she's fighting to keep me going and doesn't want me to stop. I submit to her gentle moans without a second thought.

I'm numb as I just go through the motions. I do this so much with people I don't know that it's become a habit and lost its feeling. But still I do it. I don't even know why, really. It's just what you're supposed to do and I guess it's better than hard core drugs.

The next morning I wake, through on clothes and leave without waking her. We will probably never see each other again. And that's just the way I like it.