My Last Suicide Attempt

Chapter two - Goodbye Child

*******still editing******

BEEEEEEEP!
BEEEeeeeeeeep!
Beeeeeep!
Scrabbling for her phone to shut off the alarm she couldn't help but feel so worn down and upset. She just kept breathing wishing she wasn't able to take another wretched breath.
Usless! I'm just usless!
She argues with herself if only she hadn't failed. Pulling her knees up to head upon sitting up in bed she sat there for a few minutes crying wishing that this day has never had to come. She crept quietly down the short hall to the bathroom hoping not to make a sound. She opened the left hand drawer on the counter digging around all the washcloths to find the only thing that helped her escape. Sinking to the opposing wall she spun the sliver blade around. Closing her eyes she took the blade firmly between her fingers and held it against her skin on her forearm. Slowly she let the blade slide across arm. Then again and again picking up speed with each slice. Opening her eyes she saw the blood dripping down her arm onto the bathroom floor. Staring at it almost as if in a trance for a moment she forgot the pain the reside in her heart. For just that moment it was as if she hadn't felt any pain in her entire life.
The sound of a car honking outside brought her mind back to the world she quickly stood up and walked to the sink trying to wash away the blood.

............ Sorry for the long wait

I walked into the front doors of the school. I hate school, well, not really the school work part of it. It's the people part. I hated seeing everybody, day in and out. I loved the weekends and breaks because it was my chance to escape the torture for a little while. I guess but then again not really. I go through the school, people talk about and me and point at me and make fun of me.

I felt like it started suddenly and for no reason at all. But there was a reason that started on a day that I stood up for myself and for my best friend. I don't think I could ever tell anyone that story unless they really meant the world to me.

I can never be normal again. This self-hatred I feel inside. I am nothing but worthless and everyone know that and they remind me every waking day. They send me texts they scream in in my face they inbox it to me anonymously. The internet they use as a tool to break people. I am a victim of it. But the difference is I actually deserve it!

School was my escape

Now it is my own personal jail

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